an unnamed hurt the tears pricking stinging my eyes as they overflow trying to soothe the pain of an enforced aloofness.. a stepping back.. compulsive.. self-imposed.. what do i rue.. i love that pride.. still my heart aches goes out.. ineffectually trying to fill those empty spaces you screen sometimes coldly.. firmly deriding, mocking yet what do i see so clearly that makes me cry out in pain..
i can't believe i felt so touched a deep happiness palpable moving as i heard the embarrassed diffident notes seeped in pleasure the chains falling apart years of restraint constriction sadness unspoken pain healing itself melting fading bit by bit in heartfelt gestures.. minute.. phenomenal.. unuttered.. yet so intense.. they brought tears to my eyes.. as i heard you say.. in this one breathing moment.. melodious welcoming hopeful.. full of life..
never lose heart however bad things seem.. after all a rose could've bemoaned it's thorns.. you love yourself and always be proud remain just the way you are.. a dolphin could never survive as a shark.. each to himself.. their perfection is in that..
Love this moment hushed silent breathing speechless rosy melodious quietly potent gently teasing questioning listening searching elusive suspended fulfilling this moment.. impish breathtaking warm affectionate.. this moment vulnerable protective defenseless.. scattered captured this moment reflected mirrored.. echoing.. faltering hesitant..
profound thoughts ancient yet innocent.. like a new born opening it's eyes in wonder.. hopeful tentative curious.. embracing the world and life.. laughter and tears a simple answer to being loved.. rightful trusting so sure of making a place in each heart..
have i touched an angel fresh soft petals gentle fragile.. a heartbeat purity of the pearl.. innocent trusting a fading faith and missing wings.. that makes you hold your breath.. afraid something might shatter irrevocably.. to mend a lifetime's hurt in a moment.. what role do i play.. thorns, oyster or wings.. wonder why our paths crossed.. with aching heart i look up and feel the tears vying with the smile.. touched by an angel i feel so small inside.. i see a blessing even god's smile.. touched by this miracle that's you..
when you believe you can climb the highest mountains hold the stars in your hands.. fly over the clouds.. walk over the moon.. you make magic happen.. only when you believe.. 'cause you have stars in your eyes.. wings in your heart.. a magic to your touch.. faith in yourself.. you've done it and i feel so proud i was never in doubt.. and you only had to believe..
the wings are there just weighed down with constant cruelty and sensitive hurting heart i need to make you believe feel your wings again.. as your heart soars with happiness at last feeling yourself..
walking along bathed in this soft milky glow of moonshine playing hide and seek with the stars.. winking knowingly sparkling twinkling beguilingly at the clouds.. helping with their antics.. and i look up enjoying their play a part of it.. a skip to my step.. i laugh in shared merriment.. as i find you playing hide and seek sometimes in my smile.. or the glow in my eyes.. pure haloed beauty a hushed melody as nature became a child in thoughts of you..
wistfully i looked around.. a deep sense of loss.. a deep sense of something missing.. looking up at the sky beseechingly almost as if for help.. drinking in the beauty all around.. yet an unnamed emptiness.. i feel the tears in my eyes.. a drop fell precariously.. poised on my hand.. and in sudden dawning wonder.. i almost felt that frown a voice saying dodo.. i found myself smiling.. i felt you in my smile.. helpless.. affectionate.. strengthening.. reflective of that hand always, forever.. a promise half-forgotten nearly almost.. never to cry again..
some moments special breathing.. yes my heart's full today.. you've given me so much most of all.. your presence in my life.. your smiles filling up my heart.. that i have no words left to say.. everything is so endearing.. so familiarly you.. nothing seems strange.. yet everything is so new..
we talked so much said so much today yet there are special moments amidst all the light banter that say so much feel so much.. more than we could ever know..
an emotion that fills up your heart with joy, a moment of utter bliss.. love is when you want to take care of someone.. love is when you want to protect someone.. love is when you cherish something or someone.. love is when your heart fills up with wonder and joy..
if there is just one heart that blesses you.. hurts for you.. there is still hope.. there is still light.. i am so sorry..
a flower as it bloomed tentatively asked me if it was okay.. diffident unsure.. how do i assure it.. my heart aches how could anyone be so cruel to make a flower question it's bloom something it was naturally meant to do.. these are tears not dew i shed for you.. needing to somehow cleanse and help you bloom anew.. and i find myself cry out in protest.. even a rose has thorns for protection.. please fight for yourself.. don't let anything stop you, just move on with the assurance that as and when you need someone will always be there.. in that smile in that assurance in your heart.. with each thought in that satisfaction in your soul.. and as you turn around for help yes, that’s a hand holding yours..
you left me with your pain and suffering your indecision and i realized no amount of preaching helped at all except the assurance that you're okay.. self gauged from your voice for myself.. yes i suffered your pain with you for you.. can only imagine what torture you go through everyday..
i feel inadequate helpless as if i haven't understood at all .. you came to me for something either you couldn't share or i couldn't understand, because i felt such a loss as you left.. like i'd let you down, i could still feel your disquiet, unease, unhappiness, a sorrow i wish i could touch and heal..
the early morning breeze reviving and fresh the dawn the dew speaking of new beginnings and fresh starts.. handsome officers symbolic of the inane.. the lush fluorescent greenery bespoke of the fullness in our hearts..
heartstrings holding together moments like a heartbeat complete momentary yet like a lifetime.. is it just a day.. are they thoughts wayward.. here and there.. like wisps of cloud so perfect drifting together or do our hearts soar and fly.. sunrise to sunset.. with the feeling of timelessness unspoken thoughts deeply felt at one with nature and ourselves.. the shared rain cleansing the pain each face lifted with joy of our being.. the fire later reflecting a burning desire the zest for life watching the sunset each so sure of the morrow of eternity..
the shared picnic amidst squirrels and birds showing a rare shared togetherness.. the shade of the tree strengthening our belief in selfless protectiveness.. did we grow to become the world or did the world shrink to just us.. what is real and what a dream.. this is us together.. enriched.. fulfilled a rare melody.. playing in our hearts.. echoing everywhere..
so many things i need to thank you for.. so many lovely moments you have given me.. i felt so happy touch full of admiration.. joy.. as you sang to me overcoming your reserve hesitation diffidence.. everything outside.. the only focus my request.. the only people just us.. my heart filled with pride and sheer happiness.. couldn't speak i felt so good inside..
what did i feel, what did i see.. why was it so difficult to just leave.. didn't you shine so brightly through your words, how could i so clearly see the real person behind.. yes it was a pull i had no hold over, this friendship was just meant to be.. now i'm so glad for being blessed with you, the only person in the world i can lean on by my side.. whom i respect and look up to.. my own champ and knight..
i can feel your hurt like teardrops of pain in my heart, feel the smile like a touch of joy, feel every emotion with no less intensity.. is this a soulmate or insight..
we're moving on towards a journey .. everything is fixed and yet we torture over every little thing..
that hesitant moment each parting brings as if something left to say.. yet saying so much.. hushed, waiting.. it never is enough..
a part of me moving away tentative.. unsure.. yet willing it on to stand on it's own.. be free and full of joy complete.. independent and individual in his own right.. wishing him all the happiness with nothing holding him back.. as he returns a complete whole.. radiant invincible so sure of himself.. both eyes filling with reflective pride.. just one thing he said to me.. i found a wonder of the world too.. i looked in the mirror and loved the reflection inside..
two adults get together with the blessings of everyone around them, there's so much celebration in each heart and such joy and hope in the couple.. what happens thereafter.. these individuals pledged their love to one another, for life.. to cherish and protect one another.. then why, how do we get so involved in making each other and ourselves so miserable there are tiny eyes and hearts involved.. what kind of background are we giving them.. in the same breath we tell them they should not fight among themselves, they should know better.. without ever giving ourselves the same advice.. how can then one wonder at the questions in their eyes.. each time they pick up on our arguments which might be as close as always.. there are so many misconceptions and so much pressure where marriages are concerned that one just feels bogged down and reaches nowhere, even the day to day life becoming one long struggle.. we just have this one life, each one of us are born as individuals in our own right.. god has blessed us all similarly, each a unique celebration of life.. what is the meaning of our existence.. is it really to be shut within extremely narrow compartments which leaves no room to even breathe with ease.. is this what life is all about.. out on the fronts we are fighting boundaries when the actual struggle is for freedom.. do you know what it feels like to live in your own country.. nothing can compare to it because it's your home, you have every right to be there.. isn't freedom so intrinsically important for every individual, so why then do we question it's importance when it comes to personal freedom, when we are 18 we have the right to vote, we can get married.. all telling us that we are ready to take decisions, make our own choices, then why do we fail to recognize this in our day to day lives.. marriages which start as celebrations how do they turn into life sentences.. it is really so simple, why do we make such misery out of it.. such a small and simple thing.. we just have to respect the individuality of the other.. acknowledge them as having needs and interests of their own.. grow together as a team side by side.. who said we had to grow as one meaning one has to totally lose themselves.. but that only leaves a shadow and no shadow is equipped to bring up the future of this world.. to merge as one would be so powerful.. but to negate or lose one at the expense of another just subtracts.. lessens..
to meet life on our own terms.. we take so much for granted.. life really is fragile.. we all just get this one chance at living, we owe it to ourselves to make a go for it, nothing in life ever comes easy.. life is also progressive, we have to move on, look ahead.. we can't change what is past, what's already happened.. but we can make a difference now, do things the way we want to live the way we want to.. we definitely can make a difference to our future.. don't let the past bring you down, pull you back, have faith and confidence in yourself and live life on your terms. there are two ways of looking at things.. either we can be happy and lead our lives or we can be miserable and lead it.. our life is still the same, it's just the state of mind that is different, we still each has to live it, only we have to decide how we want to do it.. what a lucky and unique person we are and it's not right for us to feel so miserable, so pensive about everything.. we must snap out of it.. only we can do it.. everything you have, good health, looks a beautiful caring heart.. youth.. loving people around.. what more could one want, let the past be, let the future take care of itself.. live your todays to the full, on your terms, and don't rue life, rejoice in it.. see how that happiness shines from you and pervades everything around.. it's infectious y'know and soon that shroud of loneliness wouldn't be visible at all, it has no place around a happy heart.. this world is not there to share our tears, that we alone bear.. so why should we carry that burden around so much.. why worry about fulfilling your dreams.. go ahead and do so.. in dreams there are possibilities.. and of course we can make them come true, make them happen.. no we none of us have the answers.. but that doesn't stop us from trying from achieving our goals.. yes that strength is there within us.. but we don't have to learn to live alone.. why should we do that .. rather learn to be strong within yourself.. a complete person.. i can understand what loneliness can be like.. but don't let yourself shatter like this.. one day you'll find that person who touches your heart, your soul, that loneliness would simply melt away.. but have confidence in yourself.. keep the faith that this will happen, believe me it will.. i can understand your fears and that yearning craving for love that one can have in spite of so many loving people around, as if your soul is still thirsty waiting for fulfilment.. it's natural, but don't let it overshadow everything, don't let the fears of future and loneliness keep you from living an optimistic life, stop you from living at all.. it is not bad to be weak or show the moments of fear and insecurity, we are all human we all go through it at some time or another.. but we owe it to ourselves not to carry it around like a shroud, not to wallow in it constantly.. to rise above it and accept and learn from it makes us a better and stronger person.. yes, we should face our own demons because that's the only way we can move on in life.. by accepting the truth of our misery, and being strong enough to overcome it.. don't look for fulfillment outside.. find it within yourself.. and one day you'll meet the man who completes the picture.. believe it will happen.. in this maze find the right way, going after mirages and coming up against blank walls is both hurtful and demeaning to you, don't do it to yourself..
would your presence drown all sounds in a crazy crescendo.. even more unbearable or hush this madness within.. these heartbeats tingling in my blood my veins.. beating heady notes.. echoing all that you feel..
nothing is more strengthening nor can heal better than unconditional love.. eyes becoming your mirror reflecting pure beauty inside and you find yourself holding moments of insanity..
you take my hand and walk me through your dreams.. wordless.. just a whisper of your breath going..
in your silences what breath did i miss which heartbeat couldn't i hear.. all i can do is apologize..
the most beautiful discovery true soul mates make is that they can grow separately without growing apart..
god knew we would each one of us need him at some point or another to hold to realize and cherish the beauty inside.. unable to be there all at once.. he blessed a special few and sent them down as friends.. touched by god these angels only reflect pure love and you realize you are special you are beautiful inside.. and loved no matter what and so the healing begins in this unconditional love.. we see purely our reflection and fall in love just that bit more with ourselves touched by the hand of god.. we feel our angel and move on ready, strong for another..
