Quiet homage

the dark clouds parted and the light of the heavens streamed through echoing the turmoil my heart valiantly tried to overcome.. here at the seaside the peace your presence goodbyes never uttered and a moment that never happened fades into eternity.. and a hush settles all around.. in quiet homage to a peace long sought.. to wings of freedom and joy.. shedding every darkness and all the despair.. bathed in this divine light I see you smile and we take that walk finally hand in hand.. only one set of footprints left behind.. and i feel your peace and i can say goodbye.. 

there is the feeling of wanting to be in a moment totally and not being able to be the way that i want to be.. sometimes words get in the way..

i understand nothing has changed except another wall melting away helplessly faced with a warmth that embraced every pore.. securely held in this cocoon of love flooding my being that tried so hard to contain what was there all along.. 

Music of heavens

life dances on the music of heavens resonating the heartbeats of earth happiness permeates everything in a semblance of the tinkling breeze a blushing dawn shyly holds the moonlight of dreams engagingly wooing the darkness of night 

day and night merge in the same embrace this thought touches every smile.. what a sight, strange bonds every soul holding heartbeats of lifetimes undulates on every palm the pull of relationships.. none closes this fist letting everyone breathe.. life dances on heartbeats it's fragrance throbbing in every vein in celebration as our life pulsates in every vein as if on strings that hold myriad flowers blooming with joy.. 

in a need to contain name or possess  ruins love shutting doors within the fragrance making it impossible to live with a  self that denies this rejection and begs to breathe the  ache of betrayal unmasked.. 

its only the clouds that make it possible for us to look at the sun in the eye.. rain gives birth to the first sapling autumn to spring death to life.. what are we ruing.. 

freedom like a bird.. presence like the breeze.. love like a drop of water merge like the seas.. contentment like the moon warm as the sun.. 

dreams and aspirations in this complete losing of ourselves that is still held back that overflows in these tears what opens our eyes as if suddenly aware of the outside.. a shattering of this self that stands unveiled in the glowing light of censure and strangeness in eyes that painfully make you realise the need to cover yourself.. 

i flew above the heavens where angels  fear to tread for if you ever slip it brings you back to earth my heart blindly soared on wings of joy.. deaf to all but your love then the sounds stopped then my eyes  flew open.. and i came down with a thud.. this dream  state can be painful sometimes.. 

Let go

sometimes her arms ache 

with this need to hold 

fingers almost feeling the touch 

of his skin and hair 

as in playful teasing 

they form myriad patterns on him.. 

her lips tracing their path 

bursting into helpless smiles 

teeth nuzzling as her tongue soothes 

in cooling touches that ignite 

an unnamed fire within.. 

and she feels drunk on him and love driving her crazy 

suffusing her senses 

in sensual abandon 

an enhanced awareness 

a mindless oblivion.. 

and he walks away 

his voice giving up on him 

the familiar sounds fading 

the silence choking.. chiding 

clutching his senses.. 

and heart heavy with grief 

he tries to glimpse a bleak eternity.. 

and feels the flutter of her heartbeat shiver across his senses 

in mute assurance of her presence.. nothing could take away the breeze drying that wayward tear 

as if chiding that bellief 

of it not being there.. 

and he turns around 

and almost calls out.. 

feeling nothing except her inside.. 

hot tears scalding his skin 

he hears her touch 

in the cooling embrace of the breeze soothing him still.. 

Was he crushing them with such a terrible burden in his mind but choked all she could do was will with her eyes that looking back she could find 

just one chink of light and let go.. 

Passing ships

as the sun sets with its contented fullness hugging the sky with orange fingers of light in mute parting bright subdued glowing i smile and my heart fills up vying with the breeze as it plays in my hair touching teasing wooing with a sensuality that falls way short of my thoughts of you.. 

as these passing ships chiding permanence move on in majestic splendor and this moment embracing all lights my eyes, breathes in my heart igniting life and truth.. in a palpable essence nothing can negate and i cherish each thought each nuance us, together hugging this moment to me.. i have felt joy dance deep within my soul.. a symphony in my heart and i wonder if i would let the discordant notes hold sway.. 

if you ever look away as you face the mirror or avoid your own eyes just remember it is those moments that make you what you are today.. that give you the strength to be who you are.. that give you the will to stand by your loved ones.. that give you the joy of being yourself.. 'cause first one needs to love oneself.. to really be able to love those around how can there be regrets for something that helps you become who you are today.. 

if there wasn't a 'yesterday' how could there be 'today'.. all our yesterdays together make us what we are today looking back i  need to thank all who held my finger, my hand.. all who pushed me over too.. for each taught me something new as i look in the mirror head held high.. i realize all whom i hated and loved all the grief and joy sparkled in my eyes as they shone back at me.. 

our bodies are the temples in which God resides.. he made temples for us these bodies of ours and we incessantly search and we ignore the voice inside unable to see him in each other in inanimate idols we try to find.. 

ephemera dissolves like morning dew.. buried shadows drive us to places we might not wish to go.. the less we are able to face our own personal demons the more we are compelled to confront them in other less conscious ways.. 

the earth's heart melts vaporizing to reach the heavens that overflow with uncontained emotion rinsing suffusing the earth as she is reborn.. 

love takes no prisoners.. love is no holds barred.. love bears sweet nectar, but love must leave us scarred.. 

this insatiable thirst for love gets realized in so many ways in so many hearts.. bonds that form naturally tugging at hreatstrings in this ethereal melody and life pulsates in every vein as if on strings that hold myriad flowers blooming with joy.. 

into leashed  desire damming  this flood of feeling that frustrated needs to flow free.. 

and we run around in frenzied search of a musk held within all along.. 

Engaging pleas

message after message 

persistently sent.. 

engaging pleas she just had to relent.. please take care of me he says 

like a silent promise shared.. 

in hushed moments she saw him despite all his dopey ways.. 

a deep loneliness and greater pride 

no favors here always side by side.. 

life isn't a filling station 

where you just move on 

with each heart fulfilled 

the attachment is real strong.. 

from a toad to a prince 

son to champ 

almondjoy chocolates 

to angelic godsgift

Acute shattering

we love dolphins and fear sharks.. 

both survive in the seas.. 

a fish out of water 

is never the answer 

painful and devoid.. 

each is unique 

can only be themselves 

that itself personifies 

-perfection 

 This acute shattering 

Of a self that seems to

Splinter into numb shards

Buried deep so deep

In cocooned vacuum

That rare fleeting touch

Of oneness.. So palpable..

Like rays of sunshine dancing

Over the sea in shimmery slivers

Of aching fluid refracting self

What hurts more.. The ache

Or the limbo.. As Time jumps

Between pockets of urgency and lethargy..

Mocking the cognition of its passage

In an illusory life!

A rare sound reverberates in my heart

Quiet joy or crazed furor

Why would this question arise

Such beggars we have become

Every penny questioned

Every penny grabbed

And i toss the coin hoping

It would hold the answer

To this rising mirth inside....

Driven whirlpool

within this mute dance..

there is a cauldron.. a cacophony..

ears that need to shut out the relentless 'noise'..

eyes that need to look away..

lips that move in incoherent gibberish..

in a vain attempt to appease the sensual foray..

is it the breath or moisture blurring the image

reflected back..

Words

not just words i see

the pain the plea the laughter the tears

words speak but who feels

you see the stars, feel the magic

hear the sound of the waves

still only a few can make you hear the melody

each sound playing washing over you

your senses attuned fulfilled

a touched dampness in your eyes

as you look around in awe

separating what .. experiencing reality

realizing your being

yes they are words.. they speak

as we feel......

Waves and gold dust

gentle kind like being born out of time

i can feel the hush

my heart almost stopping at times

in the presence of a blessing easily hurt

just like waves and gold dust

touch a feeling find the words

it's weird scary even

when you touch what i'm feeling

leaving me speechless spellbound

the rapport the deep affection

breathes palpably

so loud yet soundless

moving draining full and alive

these are moments

that wouldn't be possible with anyone else

because they are so uniquely shared

possible only because of you...  

Veil of time

masked through the veil of time

eyes beckon me compelling tantalizing

as mesmerized i walk unheeding

weathering the sands 

leaving a mirage of footprints on the heart of this desert

as the winds playfully make a mockery of my vanity

eyes that helped me find the oasis in my heart

footsteps in heart prints supportive.. willing me on.. 

Unable to contain

he asked me if i needed to be alone

from where do i find those moments

without him..

wish i could've made you feel that warm hug

that says so much more than words ever could

words that fought a losing battle with my eyes

as they overflowed in sheer emotion

unable to contain the joy of being touched

by an Angel

who selflessly gave me all of him and more

earnest innocent pure feeling

leaving a touch pervasive reflecting suffusing

Us......

To find gold

to find gold you sift through dirt

a grain of sand becomes a pearl

patience, dedication unswerving belief

optimistic hope faith and care

whatever it is, they seem to say-

accusingly perhaps - have i erred!

you go finding diamonds

would know from the warmth

keep throwing away the stones

never losing hope

but just when you find one

alas you throw it away

creatures of habit desensitized!

a man throwing starfish

back into the sea

knew he'd made a difference

at least to some

if we can make just one heart happy

we'd have found together

all the pearls and gold and diamonds

not just elsewhere.. 

but hidden deep within us......

Sunshine

we greet the dawn welcome the day

bright hopeful smiles

nostalgic maybe a little impish

shared merriment full of joy..

i looked at the sun in it's rosy light

and helplessly smiled

it winked in return dazzlingly

dancing rays around 

as if a medium of exchanged smiles

has togetherness found

a new way....

Unmatched soul

This crazy rush towards a beautiful mirage 

that beckons compellingly.. 

And that single step

That spellbound breath

At the mysterious beauty within..

Freeze- framed in a moment waiting to happen.. 

Looking vainly towards a self

Strange to its own reflection.. 

At once Sated yet parched.. 

Hoarding a sea of myriad hues 

that still seek elusively..

we all have this vacuum this void in us  a feeling of emptiness as if this isn't enough we go through our lives feeling something is missing none of us know it everythign seems so complete what a loss what a rarity.. none of us know it nor feel.. is it any wonder i feel blessed can't stop the thanking.. 

 

silence trembling in heartbeatss that breathe with hues of imagined spectres thoughts balking at images.. 

trust slips away so easily and we hurt and burn in our own hell.. as if our heart would break and the person remains the same.. only we 'see' differently... 

I want to be heard without saying a word

To make a difference like the air around

This silence is so full of noise

How do i hear my heart speak

Nature struggles to keep balance

Within its family

Till each finds its own

Can i feel her love can i feel his

Can i feel mine

For you for me for this whole family

Can we see the beauty unfolding all around..

Can we hear music in the rustle of leaves or birdsong..

Can we taste a single moment and enjoy its flavour..

Can we breathe the fresh fragrance of damp earth..

Can we feel the touch of life in every atom, every pore..

Can we celebrate the miracle, Of an unmatched soul..

A moment’s hush

Just a moment's hush

In this storm of thoughts

That never let's us feel...

Could we quiet

This raging din

Of mundane trivia

Drowning something

Precious

Even before we can feel...

Just a moment's hush

Is all we need

Could we allow ourselves

That luxury....

Rings of dust

He sees footprints moving away

As rooted he stands

Trying to get his bearings again

Dazed he looks back

Eyes parched

Drained of that last drop Of moisture

Blinking hard to register

How only one set was etched behind

In this yawning empty desert

Rings of dust undulated

Swirling around in vain

As if in a quest to decipher

What was lost, what gained......

Split personality

i look in the mirror and what do i see

same old body, same old face

with varying expressions maybe

we've all been told each Dr. Jekyll has his Mr. Hyde

we all have our Frankensteins

so, is there someone else inside

you would know because you always do

is the fondness so complete

or is there a wolf sometimes peering through

or more importantly.. does it matter

could anything ever really tear

this fabric spun so precious

no, the darker can never dare..

Oysters autobiography

'energy flows where attention goes'

'the pearl is the oysters autobiography'

I want to write, why do words fail me now, the cell phone seemingly mocking me lying there, almost gauging my wait, an unease, a restlessness within, the urge so intense, to turn towards the one person I look to in my time of need.. the missing becoming so impossible to handle at such moments

you're in each breath I take

on my skin and in my mind

molding each word and thought

compelling, rapturous and blind

now i know what it means to be really complete, it was just a word till i met you.. who was to know of the emptiness within till i was faced with the fulfilment of you.. my heart feels so full of love and gratitude for you.. i can actually feel the ache  in my throat and heart, it touches me so deeply.. will i ever be able to show you what you mean to me.. nothing comes even close to expressing the love and regard i hold for you, you who has given birth to  this wonderful feeling in my heart suffusing my  whole being, thus helping me touch the skies at one with God.. i  want to make you so happy do everything for you, you have taken me to paradise and shown me heaven in one lifetime.. how has it been so palpably felt all along, all around, a constant, close to my heart.. giving deep contentment

Numb shards

you are touched by many people as you move on in life.. only some leave an imprint forever.. a look a smile a thought even.. every nuance bringing them back.. a touch that just wouldn't let go.. in our foolishness the very people we want to run away from are the ones we miss the most.. always too late we realize how good they were for us.. 

this personal space

these islands we make of ourselves

we might drift together meet at shores  even

trying to decipher this Eden in my life

this oasis of thoughts captured for eternity

even its possibility might still be a mystery

maybe God felt I needed  his touch for a while

his smile in your voice his blessings in your Being

I need to thank Him for this beautiful respite..

This acute shattering 

Of a self that seems to

Splinter into numb shards

Buried deep so deep

In cocooned vacuum

That rare fleeting touch

Of oneness.. So palpable..

Like rays of sunshine dancing

Over the sea in shimmery slivers

Of aching fluid refracting self

What hurts more.. The ache

Or the limbo.. As Time jumps

Between pockets of urgency and lethargy..

Mocking the cognition of its passage

In an illusory life!

Words without form

The fragrance of unuttered words Hung in the air

Carried over the breeze

Entering Catching my breath

As i feel a whisper

Sighing words without form

Just feeling

And i look around Searching ineffectually

Like these dancing lights Reflected in the sea

Going deeper and deeper And deeper

Creating ripples of their own.. Shimmering sparkling

And forever leave their glow..Momentary ongoing eternal

All i needed.. Was a look within