Spaces in togetherness

two adults get together with the blessings of everyone around them, there's so much celebration in each heart and such joy and hope in the couple.. what happens thereafter.. these individuals pledged their love to one another, for life.. to cherish and protect one another.. then why, how do we get so involved in making each other and ourselves so miserable there are tiny eyes and hearts involved.. what kind of background are we giving them.. in the same breath we tell them they should not fight among themselves, they should know better.. without ever giving ourselves the same advice.. how can then one wonder at the questions in their eyes.. each time they pick up on our arguments which might be as close as always.. there are so many misconceptions and so much pressure where marriages are concerned that one just feels bogged down and reaches nowhere, even the day to day life becoming one long struggle.. we just have this one life, each one of us are born as individuals in our own right.. god has blessed us all similarly, each a unique celebration of life.. what is the meaning of our existence.. is it really to be shut within extremely narrow compartments which leaves no room to even breathe with ease.. is this what life is all about.. out on the fronts we are fighting boundaries when the actual struggle is for freedom.. do you know what it feels like to live in your own country.. nothing can compare to it because it's your home, you have every right to be there.. isn't freedom so intrinsically important for every individual, so why then do we question it's importance when it comes to personal freedom, when we are 18 we have the right to vote, we can get married.. all telling us that we are ready to take decisions, make our own choices, then why do we fail to recognize this in our day to day lives.. marriages which start as celebrations how do they turn into life sentences.. it is really so simple, why do we make such misery out of it.. such a small and simple thing.. we just have to respect the individuality of the other.. acknowledge them as having needs and interests of their own.. grow together as a team side by side.. who said we had to grow as one meaning one has to totally lose themselves.. but that only leaves a shadow and no shadow is equipped to bring up the future of this world.. to merge as one would be so powerful.. but to negate or lose one at the expense of another just subtracts.. lessens..