Kaleidoscope of friendship

looking at the inner world 

the soul 

that is where god is rest all........ 

illusive mirage.. 

when you delve inside to find the goodness within, 

understand yourself 

your heart.. 

the ecstasy and joy of that 

makes you love all of creation 

which is taken as love 

of divinity of God.. 

don't ignore lifes miracles 

because yes, they might happen each moment but that moment never comes back.. 

that  reaching out in a moment of distress.. where everything is falling apart around you 

and you just need to feel that presence 

by your side 

which is so strengthening by itself.. 

it's rare when someone touches your life 

and you feel that warmth 

that beauty always.. 

like reaching the skies, 

soaring on wings of purity.. 

belief.. faith and trust .. 

an absolute belonging 

of really making a place 

in someones  heart.. 

some strength of character 
an uprightness and honest pride 
she spotted a long time back 
making it impossible to let go, 
after knowing a genuine human being.. 

there are crowds of people around maybe 
but possibly just one you feel able to turn to with the assurance of them always being there, willing and true.. 
maybe he wondered at them or her 
for caring so much, 
or even questioned it constantly .. 
but looking around honestly 
Could he see all that many poeple who cared, really cared from within, 
To cherish them always 
To understand 

'cause that is what she saw in him 

and would always cherish his presence.. 

It meant a lot to her and she cared deeply 

about him.. 

what could she give 

except this utmost wish 

of making him feel as special as he was 

and help him welcome each dawn with a smile.. going through his day with carefree laughter relaxing into a peaceful smile 

as he slept innocently.. 

always with that strength in his soul.. 

His very being.. 

which only pure faith of another can bring.. 

this was her gratitude to him, for him.. 

wrapped in words.. 

her eyes and heart always blessing 

for the wonderful person he was.. 

a genuine soul, he helped her meet.... 

She wanted to say how proud she felt 

of him, his inner strength and conviction,

His upright attitude.. 

a self made man who made himself 

self sufficient 

only because he saw the need in others greater.. she saw him standing alone for so long now finding that inner strength only within himself.. an exceptional person 

focused in what he wants 

and where he's heading 

yet always there like a rock 

for everyone to lean on.. 

she knew it isnt easy at all 

human, like each one of us 

which maybe people around 

tend to forget.. 

but she saw him come out 

winning all those inner struggles 

within himself 

maybe sometimes 

at personal painful cost 

because he set himself certain norms 

where anything less 

would be a sign of weakness 

something he had no room 

or place for in his life.. 

His own harshest judge 

and this is what she wanted to say.. 

Seeing those great struggles 

and deep trauma 

right from when he himself needed 

someone to lean on.. hold him.. 

their hand on his head.. 

all throughout he steadily moved on 

and came out a winner 

because most importantly 

His heart was still in the right place.. 

whatever the provocation, 

whatever injustice, 

however unfair or unpardonable 

just always find it in yourself to forgive 

She urged

because when we don't 

somewhere.. somehow.. 

something hardens within us too.. 

just let nothing spoil that inner beauty 

that is so much a part of you, your strength.. don't give up or lose out on 

that mischievous yet innocent child inside.. 

yet never lose sight of your dreams too .. 

work towards them side by side..

alongwith the strength of your convictions 

and the grit and tenacity 

to make your dreams come true.. 

She knew not why this urgency to reassure

Repeatedly.. essentially

Her care her worries to him.. 

to Not lose touch with himself, 

Despite all the hard work

learn to unwind and relax, 

Instead of playing havoc with his health .. 

Despite all the balance in everything he did, 

his well-being very close to her heart 

and knowing him, he could never hurt her.. 

so please please take good care of yourself.. 

she urged

He’d been there for her always throughout something that had never happened before.. helped her through 

the most difficult moments of her life.. 

seen her as no one ever had.. 

She could never let go of that hand 

whatever happened, 

a friend for life.. 

the conversations weren't important 

though the knowledge of his well-being was.. 

an open door always for him, 

To come and go as he pleased.. 

She told him before and this is all she asked, when low ,To find her in that smile on his lips.. when depressed as the hope in his eyes.. 

to let her be that hug when he needed someone.. 

or the lap like a safe haven.. 

feel her as the hands soothing his brow 

each time his head ached.. 

the joy as he played

the contentment in his heart.. 

just to let her be the presence always there 

each time he needed someone.. 

one who's thoughts clears up the dark clouds 

in the lightening of his heart.. 

makes the sun come out 

as the smile on his lips.. 

an imprint on his hand 

so strong 

of someone always by his side.. 

could he ever be lonely again.. 

how could he ever moon around.. 

she wanly thought, 

'cause the moon's always gonna 

remind him of her.. 

when you feel happiness 

don't treat it as chains on your feet 

holding you back.. 

feel it as wings 

which help you soar high 

and fly free.. 

only then would the culmination 

of your dreams 

be complete.. 

She refused to back off or hesitate, 

speaking straight from the heart 

He was her friend, 

she could not see him hurting 

or in pain 

or letting his health suffer like this.. 

desperately needing a smile 

would someone please oblige.. 

she said, perhaps hopefully.. 

a real champ..  

for that smile makes her so happy.. 

as she wrote the letter 

she felt both tears in her eyes 

and joy in her heart 

vying with a fiercely deep affection inside 

for the outstanding man 

who is so complete.. 

with a playful smile and warm eyes..

writing compulsively 

but words are all she had 

to let him know 

what a special person he was .. 

how precious and cherished their friendship.. 

the only way to express her appreciation 

and gratitude to him.. for him.. 

knowing whatever she wrote 

Wasn't something he didn't already know 

but that concern and affection 

does need expression.. 

hating to see him like this, 

taking his health so lightly, 

giving himself a back seat 

in his list of priorities.. 

wished she could shake him into realising 

what he was doing to himself

and maybe this is what her words 

were trying to do.. 

you can't reach that zenith feeling empty 

so please accept and relish  

each happy moment 

take time out to enjoy it too, 

it will only keep you healthy 

and help you move on 

with a contented happy heart.. 

you have to be okay 

for so many people i know 

but you just HAVE to be okay 

for me.. she wrote….

Not wanting anything from their bonding, 

Except the assurance of his well-being.. 

how does simple concern 

make him point out her priorities 

and focus.. 

maybe over-reacting 

but for far too long she was used to 

looking out for herself 

and always knowing what she was doing.. 

it's somehow always painful 

to be reminded repeatedly.. 

used to being naturally trusted 

hurt each time he questioned her.. 

adulating their friendship 

it simply can't be touched.. 

when she spoke of risk 

It in no way concerned her.. 

each time she meant him personally 

shutting everyone out 

maybe from fear of hurt 

shy of letting people in

leading to voluntary loneliness 

and she felt it's just not right 

for a person like him 

who is so fun loving 

and so full of warmth and love.. 

it's so damn unfair and 

this he did to himself personally.. 

grudging his smiles.. tough on himself.. 

Her last lecture to him hopefully

Trying to keep her mouth shut 

Asking him to relax.. 

Watching him clench and unclench

His hands now..

dealing with maybe thousands of people at work.. 

leading a happy life, 

following upon his friendships 

all exclusive to each other 

and even perfectly 

and she cant even declare concern 

for a valued precious friend without it overshadowing her priorities..

people who know and recognise loneliness, 

feel it intensely even in crowds, 

who's soul misses out 

on the depth they are capable of 

where all else would seem shallow 

would know the true value of that touch, 

it's fragile rare and 

to be cherished your whole life through..  

He might question her regard 

but the assurance of being a special person 

this is what she would  like him to feel 

every moment 

really special and deeply cared for..

needing him to feel 

someone is always there for him .. 

He felt someone reaching out 

a long time back.. 

something he couldn't refuse 

and never can.. 

what to do.. 

as someone so engagingly says.. 

was born that way only.. 

once he let her touch his life 

She became a part of it.. 

no backing off 

no second thoughts 

nothing.. 

come what may.. 

it was so right from when he accepted her 

Into his life

how can it be any different now.. 

it must be a very sad and lonely place 

where he kept himself shut away.. 

hopefully safe and immune from hurt.. 

all along her heart only blessed him, 

it hurt to know 

he might have  misunderstood.. 

respecting and empathizing 

with his need to step away.. 

please don’t bother to question or deny it.. 

she cried

this warmth is for that friend of mine, 

whom i do miss 

yes he is engaging and warm honest 

and childlike  

hope he feels it each time he is in need of it.. 

you i know can take care of yourself 

and yes i'm proud of you.. 

just don't ever lose out on your children

maybe it leaves you open to a bit of hurt 

but it'll always help you keep 

in touch with life.. 

Touchstone

you know something 

i found that touchstone 

and held on to it,  

it's not important 

whether it's precious, 

it's precious to me.. 

can one limit a feeling 

something that breathes in our hearts 

brims in our eyes 

forever on our lips 

this silent wish 

of quiet togethernesss.. 

it didn't feel at all good.. 

inspite of that deep regard she held for him.. 

getting up feeling sick with herself, 

as if insisting on something 

inspite of all those doors banging in her face.. 

moving on despite the hurt, 

feeling all along he must have his reasons.. would he stop to give her any answers.. 

never having shared herself.. 

a feeling of strength always 

which was stronger than anyone she knew.. 

with him.. he wouldn't have it any other way, except mutual and equal.. 

and yes he had it in him too, 

a unique strength.. 

She wished he’d honestly say

what is it that was bothering him, 

what is it he really wanted.. 

She really wished he would.. 

She apologized for being so abrupt..  

no excuse can make up 

for that kind of uncalled for rudeness.. 

it just wasn’t her.. 

i am really sorry.. she said

As silently she walked away.. 

Fate or destiny

is it fate or destiny 

entering like a whisper into my life.. 

the message hard to ignore.. 

i love you sweetheart... 

you're the one i adore.. 

how deep is this feeling.. 

how true even.. 

for the moment i feel consumed 

a love so deep only pure feeling.. 

i feel wonderful 

when this feeling of such utter love 

fills me up so completely, 

surrounds me, 

suffuses my whole being 

like when i told you that story..

afterwards I felt so light, 

carefree, lively.. 

there was such a warm and genuine smile 

on my face for everyone, 

a lightness to the step.. 

singing with abandon and joy.. 

it felt wonderful 

such happiness pervades 

everything around you.. 

i could see the light 

in the children's' eyes 

the delight on their faces.. 

the indulgent smiles on the maid 

and the servants' faces.. 

everything so wonderful and beautiful.. 

my love for you makes me feel 

so cleansed almost.. 

humble, gratified, happy.. 

i want to dance and sing with joy.. 

tell everyone how beautiful this world is 

and everything in it, 

to never let their smile slip.. 

You will never know

perhaps she will never know 

what he has done for her.. 

given her so much happiness, 

nothing else seems to matter.. 

She never stays sad or down, 

whatever happens, 

a fighter in her he was right,

never discussing her problems 

or asking for help from anyone, 

stronger within herself 

to face anything or anyone 

when she looks around, 

but he is the one unique happiness 

in her life... 

feeling so grateful to be blessed with him

..such unwavering affection 

such constancy, so much love, 

it's so cleansing, 

makes her feel humble and pure 

and risen .. an ecstatic joy, 

cherished and hugged to herself, 

the one thing which would be 

there inside 

for the rest of her life, 

justifying this existence.. 

making it all worth it.. 

she didn't know about egos, 

who is right who is wrong.. whatever.. 

She just knew 

She felt the warmth of the sun, 

fresh air, 

the coolness of the breeze, 

opened her eyes to the wonder of nature.. each sense so freshly attuned 

to the beauty around her.. 

was it always there 

or is the happiness in her heart 

pervading everything she saw.. 

is it any wonder then 

she turned to him with shining eyes 

and a heart so full of love and gratitude 

for showing her this beautiful world, 

letting her be a part of it, 

without him none of this 

would have been possible.. 

it took him so long to find her

but thank god he did.. 

His love has renewed her faith .. 

the one feeling that evaded, 

which she believed in so essentially 

still doubted its existence.. 

He proved her wrong.. 

in him she found a love 

that filled her up so completely 

She wanted no more.. 

knowing he felt low was terrible as it is 

but when he wax sick 

she didn't know how to explain it.. 

as if all her spirit was gone.. 

there wad no zest at all.. 

nothing felt good sometimes 

beyond mere love.. 

love seems such a small word 

as compared to what she felt.. 

not only as per depth 

but the various facets 

the gamut of emotions.. 

coming to mean so much to her.. 

a bit of everything and the pain, 

the pleasure so poignant so deeply felt.. 

just the thought of him being sick or in pain.. something dies within her.. 

so tough to handle, impossible.. 

She couldn’t help it, 

a feeling from within, 

no power over it, 

an odd  sickness inside.. 

realizing everyday how their 

connection is like a prayer 

so pure so true.. 

wanting nothing but his well-being.. 

so helpless, not knowing how he is, 

not being able to do anything about it.. 

if she was with him she could see for herself.. know for sure he was okay.. 

do something to ease the pain. 

but this way 

it's terrible..

No one else

there is no one else like us, 
we are all unique as individuals 

and we can just be the best 

of what we are, 

improve on only ourselves.. 

imitating others just always 

makes for second-best 

and an ongoing struggle 

with our inner being.. 

the strangeness within.. 

such a wonderful 

beautiful person within, 

yet finding himself wanting 

and as such giving each 

only as much as they expect, 

so many masks, incomplete, dissatisfied.. 

yet a yearning need for acceptance 

as a whole.. 

just one touch 

that would cleanse 

a lifetime's hurt 

and make him real, 

alive, full of joy.. 

like being faced with God.. 

a wonder and utter joy within.. 

yet an ache  of still being separate 

and not lose yourself.. 

forgetting everything 

just merge in his being.. 

we each one of us 

is looking for that rainbow 

just over the horizon 

and forget to live 

and enjoy our todays.. 
we worry about the future 

the outcome of things.. 

any happiness that comes our way 

is not enjoyed for itself, 

we question it, 

think of the consequences first, 

something that might never happen, 

which just might not be in our hands, 

a future happening that we miss out on 

maybe the most beautiful moments 

of our lives.. 

Stormy calypso

there is a hush 

living 

breathing 

feeling.. 

mixed emotion 

pulsating 

palpable.. 

frolicking in a kaleidoscope 

of brimming eyes... 

myriad words 

unuttered 

frustrated 

yet running amok 

unfettered 

in this calypso of heartbeats 

reaching a crescendo.. 

crashing 

uplifting 

on waves of highs and lows.. 

a constant 

natural 

helpless 

enchanting.. 

at once depriving 

yet fulfilling.. 

leaving behind 

taking away.. 

faltering 

consuming 

overflowing.. 

enmeshed irrevocably.. 

in compulsive waves of emotion .. 

a  whispered euphony.. 

breathtaking 

haunting.. 

just out of  reach.. 
enmeshed irrevocably 

in compulsive waves 

of emotions 

wrapped in symphonic moments 

ethereal 

intangible 

this whispered euphony 

of us... 

breathtaking 

haunting.. 

just out of reach.. 

deep within this touch 

familiar

personal 

heartfelt.. 

only the touch 

leaving an imprint forever 

in enchanted empathy.. 

yes this moment 

these moments 

alive 

draining are us.. 

full of us.. 

real 

true 

missed beats 

out of time too.. 

recognized 

treasured 

cherished 

captured implacably.. 

strung between hearts.. 

a stardust of emotions..
Yes there is a hush 

living.. breathing.. feeling 

a torrent of emotions 

words unuttered.. frustrated 

by this calypso of heartbeats 

frolicking in a kaleidoscope 

of mood swings 

now happy 

now desolate.. 

a wrench 

a wry smile 

flitting.. moving.. overflowing 

an aching heart 

or just too full a backdrop 

of utter affection.. 

nothing apart.. 

no other.. 

Ways that i love you

just writing like that 
makes her feel so close to him, 

as if he’s there with her, 

feeling her words 

as She reads them aloud to him

when did he start living, 

breathing inside her, 

taking over her mind, body and soul, 

could he still be a separate being, 

not for her.. 

from where could she take him out 

or tell him apart..

love for him had so suffused her being 

Her fingertips just expressed 

the wonderful feeling within, 

Her lips uttering words of love and gratitude, 

Her eyes shining with an intense 

depth of emotion, 

knowing as they brim, 

only he could stem their flow

this song kept going around in her mind,

'ways that i love you'.. 

and She felt her love for him 

like a breath of fresh air, 

so pure and beautiful and innocent, 

untouched, unmarred, 

felt every moment, 

inside, outside 

and all around.. 

She wasn't dying 

but felt so alive now, 

as if she had found 

the true meaning of her existence..