Mirage of life

Have so many emotions bubbling inside.. a sense of the pain around.. feel the healing touch within.. and the deep need to salve.. to heal.. to assuage.. this empathy of another.. hope i never lose touch with it.. but also hope to feel it for myself.. to understand enough to recognize and acknowledge.. to sit with myself like a friend.. to feel one with nature.. a unique oneness.. like a celebration.. a joy.. hope to greet the sunrise every morning in the coming year.. the myriad patterns in the sky.. the wondrous brushstrokes creating a unique euphoria within.. the phases of the moon just before sunrise.. so palpably pure.. the golden orb of the changing colors of the sun.. brilliant.. defiant.. unmatched.. sitting like a gift.. deep within.. an involuntary hand stretching compulsively.. to hold.. to embrace.. to touch.. the sensation of the breeze as it makes its presence felt in every pore.. igniting.. cajoling.. alluringly there.. unseen.. i have a need to know myself.. to love myself.. to respect myself.. to meditate.. to touch the core of divine purity within.. shedding all the layers of mundane reality.. that overpowers.. veils.. creates strangers of ourselves.. every step is a forgetting.. every step is a memory.. to find the right direction in each step.. even a single step seems both uphill and downhill.. hidden in this mirage of life.. the more i try the worse it feels.. maybe taking a step in effortless bliss is the answer.. with trust and faith..