Dust motes

 

don't put down people or give up on them.. even dust motes shine like gold in the presence of sunshine..

Hues of us

 

our minds rule over lifetimes..

keeping our maths and accounts in order. but it is our hearts that fill life with tiny joy flowers. a familiar melody..

a fragrance. A heartbeat. A smile. compelling. strengthening.

Fleeting.. permeating.. with shifting hues of us.. 

Ephemera

 

sometimes I wonder if

we see us..

in moments when we can't take that one

step..

in moments when we

perceive that strangeness..

in moments when we say.. you.. and me.. and I wonder at the ephemera of us..

that could not attain

reality..

even in our perceptions.

Magical hush

 

the moon glows struggling up there with the clouds.. so many are there.. unendingly.. and yet.. impossible to resist those fleeting glimpses full of smiles.. can't help falling in love.. the joy reflected so pervasively. basking in that ethereal glow.. mesmerized. unable to contain.. to hold.. when the 'ache! merges shimmeringly in this dance of shadows and light. as 'divinity' softly enters my heart.. bathed in a magical hush.. yes the need is there.. to hold this tiny' miracle that glows in my eyes.. that settles in my heart.. that makes me forget everything.. as involuntarily I stretch out my palm as if to hold something beyond. way beyond.. and it smiles reflectively. as I shake my head in wonder at this irresistible bond that Pulls me despite all comprehension..

Freedom

 

freedom is not the unshackling of relationships' and 'duties' to follow our own heart.. but to free our heart from the ‘shackles' that exist only in the mind..

Pearly moonlight

 

the pearly light of the moon..

bewitched. welcomes the rose of dawn.

a divine beauty in each..

The sky stil lit up with moonlight.. the moon glowing as never before..

Full of love.. Just before it merges. Dazzled..

Losing itself..

Uniting with the sun..

I see the pale Shimmering Rose in the Sea..

Dancing enticingly..

Can feel the reflection within me..

Special moments playing a dance of their

OWn.

A wondrous beauty.. Repetitive. Yet awesome.

Fresh. New. Never getting enough.

Never escaping the magic..

Always. Always bathed.. in this Rose and pearl.

Negative thoughts

 

Thinking negatively of People discolours our own View

A laboured breath

You’ve already delveddeep to find the words.. and me.. I can simply feel.. a laboured breath, waves of warmth stinging as nothing dare break this hushed silence.. so overcome with this yet another glimpse into your heart..

Law of attraction

 

We magnetically attract things we are ready for into our life.. Our hearts miraculously gravitating towards fresh introductions with ourselves..

Random mail

Hi stupid.. feels a little strange but absolutely stupendously marvellous writing to you like this.. smile.. so much of catching up to do.. but hey.. where do I start.. yeah yeah.. no time and all so gotta keep it short etc etc.. phew!! chill babes.. sometimes you just gotta sift through a whole lotta sand to find gold na.. :((.. and that's what OUR correspondence is gonna be in our lives.. always has been no.. 

so first your hubby.. hope he is doing really well.. gymming and all.. just tell him not to be so hard.. on the machines of course.. haha.. just kidding ya.. hope you are taking care of yourself alongwith him.. sounded kinda weary on the phone.. can't blame you.. remember how we used to talk through the night.. and sleep half the day.. bunking college.. office.. whatever.. totally whimsical.. and Your sis always scolding us.. groan.. about how tough life is gonna get for us.. and how we'd end up working our butts off.. theek hai baba.. you at work.. and home.. and me.. out here.. with that huge huge family.. and work.. and kids.. kids toh bas pata nahin if I can call them that anymore.. smile.. will ask them to send their pics to you.. 

what else can I tell you.. okay you write to me about your daily routine so I can picturize you there.. as for us.. get up real early in the morning as my son still has college.. he's in second year.. for kids it's mostly friends.. college.. work.. gym.. etc.. mealtimes are always together, like it used to be at your place.. have good friends around.. here too my neighbour has the same name as you.. can you imagine that.. know her now for the last maybe 22 years.. and hey I actually 'found' my school-time friend on facebook.. the one who used to live in Our city.... and guess where she has to end up living.. U.K!.. can you believe my luck.. all My close friends all share the same name and all have to live in U.K.. my neighbour too has all her relatives living there only.. spends every holiday there and they keep pushing her to shift.. wow.. 

now film gossip I can't really give you.. my daughter would have been great for this.. you ask in your next mail and I will make her reply.. smile.. send me some book or movie suggestions.. 

you write only when you feel up to it.. I know what you mean by hating to see another computer screen.. but hey.. do write.. because we are blessed enough to have some way of being a part of each other's life despite all this distance.. and we just can't let that go.. you take care of yourself.. 

lotsa love and hugs.. missing ya.. 

Hello bhabhi,

It was really great catching up after so long.. not that it felt like it's been so long.. a strange sense of 'familiarity' and 'comfort' was there:) something that happens with rare select people only.. our interaction fulfilling and what to say about Your son.. there is a very sweet engaging 'pull' in both Your kids.. that is so guileless.. and trusting.. and all I can say is.. hope you are able to reconcile the painful realizations that assail us on the path to ourselves.. and find peace within it's essential transience.. 

Hi babes.. it was a moving film freeze-framed just for me.. smile.. your description of your day.. so overwhelming to me personally.. melting distances.. into heartwarming conversations.. where you know you are heard..felt.. and understood.. 

and I don't want to be writer viter.. just to reach out to you.. aur vaise bhi.. letters parh le wahan tak to bahut hai.. novel parhne bola toh.. groan.. can't do that to you na.. smile.. Diwali was real hectic out here as usual.. sometimes I wonder about all these rules and customs.. if we are ruling them or they are ruling us.. smile.. remember our rebellion about everything.. and the song.. 'saare niyam torh do'.. when that minister (with his strict rulebook) and his family were putting up with us and we put this song so loud just to kinda 'drum it in'.. 

so anyways we have an early morning puja at office.. and then at home in the evening.. and again I wonder why we appoint pujaris for pujas to connect with 'God'.. the one and only Being who none can veil from.. and then we all laugh at that ad where 'saku bai' is going for aerobics on Madam's behalf.. smile.. crazy world hmm.. just the other day we were having our book club meet at Oxford.. and one lady who is into just about everything.. like manically she keeps pursuing one course after another.. and she says despite it all I feel I haven't achieved anything in life.. and I asked her.. what did Buddha achieve by just watching his own breath.. or any of the 'enlightened' masters.. achievement is so personal and unique to every Individual.. as per their life lesson and readiness for it.. and you should have seen her smile.. the book we were discussing was 'the last lecture'.. really good one.. upholding old-school values and beliefs.. with nuggets of advice for teachers.. parents.. and students all at the same time.. a dying man's effort to leave behind 'live' snippets for his children.. inputs that a Father would normally provide as a part of growing up.. 

so many times I wish you were here.. smile.. always could enjoy just about everything together.. chaahe phir woh tarot ho ya palmistry.. spirit calling ya astrology.. reading ya movies.. eating paan or paan paraag.. chilled drinks and naming ceremonies (lamp post, chashmish, muchharh, romeo etc etc etc).. smile.. kuchh bhi karte thhe.. the pleasure was in the company.. in it's purest guileless form.. 

love ya and take care.. 

Hey,

Am sorry about the late response as have not checked mail for more than a week i think. Good to hear from you after so long, even though its to share a tragic and unfortunate occurrence. People who say tragedy brings people closer, should add tragedy makes people write:) Sorry! sometimes humor gives us the much needed respite to face the myriad hues of a whimsical life. When someone close to us writes about a traumatic situation, we immediately become a part of it, and it no more remains simply a news item, to be shrugged off as an unfortunate incident. I could empathize with the fear, shock, awe and prayer in your words. Mother Nature in all her glory continues to humble our perceptions of invincibility.. For nothing stands in the way of her wrath.. I really hope and pray for the people in the midst of this devastation.. May God give them the strength to overcome their losses and rebuild a better future! Please take care.. And stay in touch.. 

Individual as god

to a great extent the underlining thought behind the book translates into 'individual as god' and i think what that really points towards is the god inside, within us, and how our 'faith' brings about 'miracles' translating itself through God. proving that god does love and reside in each one of us, giving us infinite power, power that we never tap or believe in, power that only gets used in moments of extreme stress or need or want.. but does arise from 'ourselves'

Quiet homage

the dark clouds parted and the light of the heavens streamed through echoing the turmoil my heart valiantly tried to overcome.. here at the seaside the peace your presence goodbyes never uttered and a moment that never happened fades into eternity.. and a hush settles all around.. in quiet homage to a peace long sought.. to wings of freedom and joy.. shedding every darkness and all the despair.. bathed in this divine light I see you smile and we take that walk finally hand in hand.. only one set of footprints left behind.. and i feel your peace and i can say goodbye.. 

there is the feeling of wanting to be in a moment totally and not being able to be the way that i want to be.. sometimes words get in the way..

i understand nothing has changed except another wall melting away helplessly faced with a warmth that embraced every pore.. securely held in this cocoon of love flooding my being that tried so hard to contain what was there all along.. 

Music of heavens

life dances on the music of heavens resonating the heartbeats of earth happiness permeates everything in a semblance of the tinkling breeze a blushing dawn shyly holds the moonlight of dreams engagingly wooing the darkness of night 

day and night merge in the same embrace this thought touches every smile.. what a sight, strange bonds every soul holding heartbeats of lifetimes undulates on every palm the pull of relationships.. none closes this fist letting everyone breathe.. life dances on heartbeats it's fragrance throbbing in every vein in celebration as our life pulsates in every vein as if on strings that hold myriad flowers blooming with joy.. 

in a need to contain name or possess  ruins love shutting doors within the fragrance making it impossible to live with a  self that denies this rejection and begs to breathe the  ache of betrayal unmasked.. 

its only the clouds that make it possible for us to look at the sun in the eye.. rain gives birth to the first sapling autumn to spring death to life.. what are we ruing.. 

freedom like a bird.. presence like the breeze.. love like a drop of water merge like the seas.. contentment like the moon warm as the sun.. 

dreams and aspirations in this complete losing of ourselves that is still held back that overflows in these tears what opens our eyes as if suddenly aware of the outside.. a shattering of this self that stands unveiled in the glowing light of censure and strangeness in eyes that painfully make you realise the need to cover yourself.. 

i flew above the heavens where angels  fear to tread for if you ever slip it brings you back to earth my heart blindly soared on wings of joy.. deaf to all but your love then the sounds stopped then my eyes  flew open.. and i came down with a thud.. this dream  state can be painful sometimes.. 

Let go

sometimes her arms ache 

with this need to hold 

fingers almost feeling the touch 

of his skin and hair 

as in playful teasing 

they form myriad patterns on him.. 

her lips tracing their path 

bursting into helpless smiles 

teeth nuzzling as her tongue soothes 

in cooling touches that ignite 

an unnamed fire within.. 

and she feels drunk on him and love driving her crazy 

suffusing her senses 

in sensual abandon 

an enhanced awareness 

a mindless oblivion.. 

and he walks away 

his voice giving up on him 

the familiar sounds fading 

the silence choking.. chiding 

clutching his senses.. 

and heart heavy with grief 

he tries to glimpse a bleak eternity.. 

and feels the flutter of her heartbeat shiver across his senses 

in mute assurance of her presence.. nothing could take away the breeze drying that wayward tear 

as if chiding that bellief 

of it not being there.. 

and he turns around 

and almost calls out.. 

feeling nothing except her inside.. 

hot tears scalding his skin 

he hears her touch 

in the cooling embrace of the breeze soothing him still.. 

Was he crushing them with such a terrible burden in his mind but choked all she could do was will with her eyes that looking back she could find 

just one chink of light and let go.. 

Passing ships

as the sun sets with its contented fullness hugging the sky with orange fingers of light in mute parting bright subdued glowing i smile and my heart fills up vying with the breeze as it plays in my hair touching teasing wooing with a sensuality that falls way short of my thoughts of you.. 

as these passing ships chiding permanence move on in majestic splendor and this moment embracing all lights my eyes, breathes in my heart igniting life and truth.. in a palpable essence nothing can negate and i cherish each thought each nuance us, together hugging this moment to me.. i have felt joy dance deep within my soul.. a symphony in my heart and i wonder if i would let the discordant notes hold sway.. 

if you ever look away as you face the mirror or avoid your own eyes just remember it is those moments that make you what you are today.. that give you the strength to be who you are.. that give you the will to stand by your loved ones.. that give you the joy of being yourself.. 'cause first one needs to love oneself.. to really be able to love those around how can there be regrets for something that helps you become who you are today.. 

if there wasn't a 'yesterday' how could there be 'today'.. all our yesterdays together make us what we are today looking back i  need to thank all who held my finger, my hand.. all who pushed me over too.. for each taught me something new as i look in the mirror head held high.. i realize all whom i hated and loved all the grief and joy sparkled in my eyes as they shone back at me.. 

our bodies are the temples in which God resides.. he made temples for us these bodies of ours and we incessantly search and we ignore the voice inside unable to see him in each other in inanimate idols we try to find.. 

ephemera dissolves like morning dew.. buried shadows drive us to places we might not wish to go.. the less we are able to face our own personal demons the more we are compelled to confront them in other less conscious ways.. 

the earth's heart melts vaporizing to reach the heavens that overflow with uncontained emotion rinsing suffusing the earth as she is reborn.. 

love takes no prisoners.. love is no holds barred.. love bears sweet nectar, but love must leave us scarred.. 

this insatiable thirst for love gets realized in so many ways in so many hearts.. bonds that form naturally tugging at hreatstrings in this ethereal melody and life pulsates in every vein as if on strings that hold myriad flowers blooming with joy.. 

into leashed  desire damming  this flood of feeling that frustrated needs to flow free.. 

and we run around in frenzied search of a musk held within all along..