Hurt

sometimes hurt shatters into shards of broken pain.. leaving scars that might fade in a semblance of healing but what shifts inside that vulnerable core which involuntarily protective throws up walls that hold it's fragile essence forever at bay.. nothing dies except that light shrouded in darkness stranger to all the senses.. for none weeps.. not even the self.. unconsciously burying slivers of heart into that cell.. bit by bit shrinking till there's nothing left to give.. 

the pain the hurt gets so deep but sometimes something snaps and you need to shift into a different world.. a conscious building up of walls.. high so high.. leaving no room for any doors only when you need to return you can't find that portion of your heart locked away into the darkest recesses removed from any consciousness of it's existence.. unable to truly give of yourself any more.. for a portion is all that is left with you.. the scaling so scary the fear so real.. that this time the plunge might shatter you irrevocably... 

Manic intensity

i can feel the breeze.. it's soft whisper touching imperceptibly.. wildly blowing my hair searing my skin.. at once cooling igniting.. sensations raw with it's relentless teasing.. an exquisite ache.. reflected in eyes that helplessly look at the moon pregnant with love.. it hurts to hold.. to negate this excruciating beauty in my blood.. out of reach.. 

thoughts of you caress my Being.. filling a void.. leaving an ache.. pulsating the missing into slivers of excruciating life.. racing heartbeats throb in each vein.. hush them please for it gets impossible to live with the fragrance of your love.. assailing my senses with manic intensity..

Struggles of man

the sun sets 

leaving a golden shimmering carpet 

in it's wake.. 

as if welcoming the moon.. 

hurting full.. 

unable to look away 

from this rare glimpse.. 

the ache of parting 

the certainty.. 

the frustration and resigned acceptance.. 

racing across as fleeting clouds 

that have no place in this love.. 

that is at once dependent individual.. 

personifying 'us' 

gently chiding the struggles of 'man'....

Float baseless

and life goes on as if.. and we smile and laugh.. the echoes rippling deep.. so deep.. racking sobs in helpless silence.. trying to contain that dam.. in eyes already parched.. dry vacant empty.. the void within.. aching.. the disbelief.. the protest.. rising forth endlessly.. i know in my heart your pain.. yet this void.. like a straw we float baseless.. facing the elements alone.. 

such pride within each of us.. even as we turn to ashes or dust.. even clay smells so beautiful.. keeping the company of roses.. but we curse and fight and kill..

Stillborn situation

what a dope how does he cope
an uphill climb.. what a chore
her doubts so many he explains in vain
frightening repetition.. oh what a pain!
his convictions strong her questions many
both feelings deep still they vary
their fights are many tempers high
severe mood swings from time to time
the struggle lessens an ease embarks
their temperaments now a few stray sparks
is this enough or so much more
wonders what the future might have in store
so now what happens to what purpose all this
a stillborn situation that's what he feels..

Loving ourselves

this silent night so full of life.. 

each sound so unique 

filling up their senses.. 

so deafening yet unheard

finding haven in nature.. 

every pebble each leaf

the starlit sky.. their veiled guide..

what is it holding them together.. 

an invisible bond inexplicable

each dawn begging with thoughts of him

every moment a shared pleasure.. 

when did he step in silently

to fill up her heart in this way.. 

enfolded it so completely.. 

nothing else she could see..

this 'release' feeling something inside

that makes them revel in life.. 

and themselves.. 

Their own touch so sensitized with the passion of another

constant need pulsating.. 

powerful to melt.. merge.. into another

feeling the acceptance 

welcoming embracing 

this release of a leashed self

erecting barriers.. 

letting the boundaries melt

with the heat no longer contained.. unabashedly exploring realms

of pure feeling.. trusting.. one .. 

reveling in this dormant sensuality

loving each other .. loving themselves.. 

Yet to shine

the sun has yet to shine can she see a smile filtering through

lilting notes over the breeze do they whisper the sound of his tread

the calm of the sea.. the peace in her heart

do they all speak of his presence in the racing heartbeats 

who is she missing

Her presence in his life make things better or worse.. ephemeral strings.. 

the reflection in the mirror barely does justice to the person standing there..

in this niche.. 

this avalon they have 

made for themselves.. 

every moment they live there nearly.. 

for their thoughts are rarely separated.. 

this is their world 

and if they call it a fantasy 

why is the hurt so real.. 

maybe their realities are different.. 

the earth round the sun.. 

the moon round the earth.. but..

feels like her mind has come to a standstill

Her heart holds only him.. 

life moves away from that moment

where it stopped for her.. 

and she just wants to curl up and sleep

one moment life feels so full.. no room for anything more

till they find another dimension achingly beautiful..

exquisitely painful.. and they only move on.. 'with' it..

when we throw up all these walls protecting ourselves

we just end up 'barricading' something within..

letting someone in.. brings it's own set of vulnerability..

cleansing.. ache.. the trust the gratitude.. the touch itself an unnamed yearning

and hurting.. love overflows in a pool of emotions

stranger to that corner of our heart or floods our Being

in a touch so familiar it hurts...

Filling empty spaces

this friend has swung beside me.. taking the highs and lows in stride
letting me set the pace.. simply holding on giving comfort and warmth
not once letting me feel i was alone on that emotional swing
yes i took you to great heights but I brought you down too
you shared the highs with the joy the lows with fortitude
many hands you hold in life each touch fades away
as you offer your hand i look into your soul
i know without any doubt.. you are here to stay
this touch could never fade.. i had felt it in my heart
filling every empty space.. yes, i can feel the miracles of nature 
'cause i have met one in you my friend.. 

Questions unformed

wish i could write like the sunlight softly reflecting off the moon

poets have the eyes to see feel and express something we pass by everyday

just a drop in the ocean, but then there would be no ocean without those drops

wish there were less onlookers and more people who actually cared

some questions unformed like a protest

reverberate in protest hurtingly

like a rose petal pressed between the pages of a book

like drops of sunlight

love can wound for it's lack or for it's abundance.. 

the ripples a boat leaves in the sea.. imagine the ripples we leave as we move in life.. how many lives.. how many situations we can trigger.. just with one thought.. one step.. one action.. 

we keep deluding ourselves about control over our feelings and their depth.. 

Tea and cakes

no sir, i don't need to prove anything here nor is there any question of contest

i must say one thing though 'cause it's the neighborly thing to do

it's a decision foregone we British stand above the rest

and you sir need to check your eyes for mistaking a haughty look for a smile

as for cakes and tea.. how could you ever doubt me..

Colors of the rainbow

he comes in red and blue welcoming as no one can do reflecting in that smile i can feel each time he writes

he said they love me for myself and went on with his masks

with his protective shields and continues to believe blindly

every emotion is true in itself and one can't be complete

without the other nor understood so you can't condemn a grieving heart

nor deride a joyous soul.. the tears as much a part of our lives as the smiles

if they weren't, the true import of a smile could never be understood

such a beautiful gift, one i'll treasure for life

wrapped in pure celebration

showing each shade of yourself

dappling shimmering with an angelic glow

as you unwrap it one by one

i know it hurts when you proffer a hand straight from the heart, that is the time one is most vulnerable..

blue and red or yellow each color brings it's own joy

but more than anything it's the presence the words so nice....

keep the smile full of the rainbow

the oasis in your heart

blue is for the sky and sea

for beauty and serenity

your convictions are what keep you going

you accept people as they are it's what's inside that counts.. 

the real beauty lies within there's nothing like natural beauty

however you might like to change to impress other or work towards it

never give up on the 'gold' within you.. that's the only real truth..

Deafening silence

a wooing of your muse, making 'her' come alive.. Along with your doubts, your joy, your near-skepticism

plumbing deep within you to find expression of this 

your latest love affair and the ecstasy therein...

in the early hours of the dawn the sky greets me as if on fire

compelling me to welcome, so full of life and energy

the spirit soared like a bird sadly aware of the string

attached to it's leg.. 

like raindrops dancing over the sea.. some presence teases me....

the changing colors at sunset time as if the sky has caught fire

and the sea desperately trying to mellow it's wrath

soothing,  softening, calming.. the awe of it all

and how it remains with you like nothing can take it's place

you feel so full within.. this is how one feels when deeply affected like now.. 

through the deafening silence struggling in these dark waters

i feel a presence i see a light

what sound reverberates and touches me

again and again driving me crazy 

with this semblance of a presence

chimeric.. a tortured intruder

amidst fleeting glimpses of beauty

with sinking heart i realize I'd got in too deep 

i need to pull away then why do i sink deeper

i can't let go i can't give in... 

Present moment

nothing changes the fact of the 'shared' moments or their beauty or the 'security' the 'smiles' each random thought brings.. we are so conditioned to look 'ahead' to 'weigh' everything against 'losses' and 'time', the 'future' that we nearly always end up losing out on the happiest moments of our lives.. a future that none can predict.. time? who knows.. a given moment is what we can be sure of and we gotta live it unshadowed.. 

Four blind men

the four blind men checking out the elephant.. we do see only as much as we want to.. the bigger picture somehow always escaping this 'cylindrical' vision we have conditioned ourselves into.. thus, the human race.. souls.. earth.. God.. all the scriptures.. beliefs.. values.. everything 'one'.. similar reflections.. only each sees differently.. 

Intoxication

ecstasy elation intoxication elusive enchantment euphoria

an empty moment in time.. dark shadows looming

this vacuum holding within a silence anchorless terrifying

you question your existence you question your life

every belief all the confidence shaken to the core

it hurts to imagine anyone going through this living hell

the torment the pain all suspended waiting..

everything leaves ripples in it's wake

then why should our heart not flutter at a touch a feeling

this water taking on the color of the changing hues of the sky

isn't our heart like that too absorbing beating to each emotion

some moments we try to hold teasing playful

dance away laughingly their allure

wooing our consciousness as that smiling fragrance

that assails us unawares

words can never match that 'touch' only friends can have when you need them most

all i see is 'warmth' when i greet the Dawn and imagine the look in your eyes

we always look for the 'quenching' around when all along it's right there within us..