Eagles calling out

The sun and sky are beautiful.. the eagles calling out to each other with a keening sound.. crows cleaning up the leftovers of last nights get together on the terrace.. the wind so cool and so heavy i can hear it.. feel it.. and always love its cooling sensuous touches.. i wish i always have the energy and will to come and greet a fresh sunrise everyday.. its healing touches lighting up the darkening corners of my soul.. rebuilding.. energizing.. opening all the shut doors and windows letting light stream into every aspect of my life.. last nights walk was really funny.. lately it has been full of laughter and smiles.. a little bit of wisdom.. a little bit of advice.. a little bit of sharing.. and lots and lots of smiles.. so we kept thinking of the first tune of any song and fitting it with under the blanket added to it.. we were in splits.. 

space

Sometimes we feel responsible all around.. but how can we be any different from who we are.. a person loved and loving.. we need to stop blaming ourselves for things that never should have happened.. but when they do. we need to have that much-needed talk with our loved ones.. and maybe resolve a situation that had simply been put on hold.. that desperately needed looking at squarely.. for us, for everyone around.. yes they need our complete assurance, love, and presence.. the only support that can help them come out of their dark inconsolable hell.. all one needs to hear.. that you care.. and it matters.. what happens to them.. how much they mean to you.. in your life.. 'listen' to them.. hear.. share that mute anguish that has led to this moment.. and let them feel your support, empathy and care.. respect your need to make that space, that is so imperative at that time.. for everyone..  wish they did not  have to go through such anguish.. and you do not have to see them like this.. ever again.. maybe you can't help how they feel.. but nothing stops you from being there, being strong, and empathetic.

Identity

some things
just tend to seem like a dream after some time..
things that even break us at a given moment.. time is
a great healer.. or maybe we just have strong defense
systems that let our minds dim memories that are
hurtful to us.. shut them out enough to be able to do
so..

compromising everything we stand
for only gives birth to bitterness.. but it's
necessary for our sanity, to come to terms with our
roots.. essential to learn to forgive our parents to
ever like ourselves, we can never feel happy inside otherwise.. it
can be very destructive, the hurt is nothing
compared to the 'resentment' inside.. that
desperately needs healing.. for it would always
hurt, whether we stay together or separately, because it's not just
the 'behaviour' that bothers.. it's the
acknowledgement, the love that we need, that we find
wanting.. We love our parents.. how
could we handle having to 'apologize' for them or
hurting them..

we can't forgive some things.. can't understand them..
the question like a protest always remains..

a sense of loss
deep
aching
eyes hot
burning
filling with moisture
seeping through in silent protest
on lashes  holding in vain that tiny drop
shimmering with myriad questions
swimming inside....

rhythmic patterns

as I look back
I see freshness
strung on rhythmic patterns
pure poetry -
each breath
each hush
each moment
yes, I have felt spring
all along....

you've already delved deep
to find the words..
and me..
I can simply feel
a labored breath,
waves of warmth
stinging
as nothing dare break
this hushed silence
so overcome with this
yet another glimpse
into your heart..

autumn

ashes or embers
etched in memory
the sparks of which
might haunt still

Slivers of glimmering pain
shedding bit by bit
fossilized or swept away

yes you overcome me
with a fresh smile
holding me forever
under this spell of -

a miracle happening....

stardust

each night after tucking in
the kids, I go to the window and look for the moon..
it's something one has to experience to understand..
it's so utterly beautiful.. the shimmering lights
reflected in the sea.. and those boats like tiny stars
twinkling all over.. with the moon so sure and
incomparable.. stardust all around.. I can almost feel
it reflected in my eyes..

Each dawn I greet the sun
with a wave and hopeful smile anew

each time I look at the moon
involuntarily I say 'I love you'

each star in the sky fills my heart
with hope and conviction
of dreams realized

each cloud seems to glow
with defiance and belief
pride and joy, faith inside

like the special smiles
and wayward tears
that none could bring but you

yes, I can't help thanking
someone up there
for helping your dreams
come true....

Illusory life

This acute shattering 

Of a self that seems to

Splinter into numb shards

Buried deep so deep

In cocooned vacuum

That rare fleeting touch

Of oneness.. So palpable..

Like rays of sunshine dancing

Over d sea in shimmery slivers

Of aching fluid refracting self

What hurts more.. The ache

Or the limbo.. As Time jumps

Between pockets of urgency and lethargy..

Mocking the cognition of its passage

In an illusory life!

feel the magic in the air

At midnight as you enjoy the beauty of the night sky,
greeting this special day, hear in that hushed
silence, the sound of the waves playing on strings
with each twinkling star, wishing you a very happy
b'day! and know it's from me.. close your eyes and
make a wish.. believe me it'll come true.. 'cause
that's my gift to you..

Find me in that satisfaction suffusing your being,
telling you what a special person you are and how
beautiful this day is going to be, that first ray of
light falling on you, warming, carrying my wishes to
you.. it's warmth reflected in that joy in your
heart.. as if you can fly free, the world's at your
feet..

Yes feel the happiness and carry it through the day..
know without a doubt as you greet the dawn and look up
at the rising sun, that's where you are going to
reach.. hug this joy within you and keep it always..

I wish you a very Happy Birthday.. and happiness
always, every moment, every breath, every step you
take.. with the knowledge that you are exceptional..
and loved just the way you are.. no matter what.. and
that I miss you so.. specially today..

now whom do i wish hey like the colours of the rainbow they  all shine out from you so happy b'day i wish you.. such an impish child.. eyes full of dreams.. strength of convictions he's a complete man.. i gift you my wishes your dreams come true soar high and proud now and forever.. 

flux

The more i look within the worse the turmoil.. Life itself in flux.. Everything seems strange.. Who is this person inside so circumstantially dependent.. How can we profess to know anyone or people profess to know us.. How can we be sure of circumstances.. Or of things happening in our lives.. A blink is all it takes for everything to change..

Fate destiny or the entire cosmos.. Don't know what we are speeding towards or what is causing the myriad shifts in our life.. And yet we think of ourselves as the doer? What is in our hands? Choices yes.. But choices after we face providence.. And situations that were meant to be.. Nothing in this entire universe or our entire being can we ever swear by.. For these minute providential shifts ensure otherwise..

This mind is helplessly blinded by thoughts that have no base no reality to them.. A single thought that can make us utterly miserable is easily overcome by a shift in attention.. Same situation.. Same circumstances.. Just these thoughts racing across our minds obsessively.. Teasingly.. Tormentingly.. Fleetingly.. And we who take such extreme pride in holding the reins of our lives.. Screaming freedom of thought all the time.. Are pathetic pawns of these racing wisps of air.. Staking friendships.. Relationships.. Years of togetherness.. On just one circumstantial passing thought that refuses to leave.. And yet easily disappears when replaced by another perspective.. Along with the demonic thoughts of guilt and regret..

Every scripture calls this creation a dream.. Unreal.. Yet we maintain ourselves supreme Between such temporal thoughts running amok within a dream.. This one self.. The center of this universe.. Each drop hiding the ocean within.. Yet Thinking its the ocean itself.. A part of the whole..

static

Every time we speak on the phone and the reception is bad, we start sounding irritable, impatient, needing to shut the conversation fast because it gets impossible to understand anything.. The same thing happens in relationships.. When we can't 'connect' or 'understand' another, the same feelings of impatience and irritability arise.. But can both be easily sorted by retrying or removing the static in between..

Toss the coin

A rare sound reverberates in my heart

Quiet joy or crazed furor

Why would this question arise

Such beggars we have become

Every penny questioned

Every penny grabbed

And i toss the coin hoping

It would hold the answer

To this rising mirth inside....

Nakedness inside

Got up early and went for a walk.. Need to resolve to meditate.. At least 15 mins before designated time to be up.. Have realized today that we all have our fears n insecurities.. That we deal with in our own ways.. Some peculiar.. Some universal.. But what never changes is being so strongly opinionated about things.. In a life that is so unpredictable.. How are we still So sure of ourselves and what we say as the sole true reality.. Easily dismissing the grey areas.. Critical from our distanced positions.. Lacking any compassion if it conflicts with our belief system.. 

It is strange this life.. A sad and heavy heart struggling to find solace in pockets of valiant understanding interspersed with dark moments of deep disquiet racing with acceptance.. patience.. destiny and time.. Perhaps envying those carefree smiles.. Those happy hearts.. Still feeling burdened chokingly.. With others' plight.. For we do need that flower.. We do need that melody.. We do need that sunrise.. To help us remember to smile.. For in this life, time and seasons move on relentlessly.. And though we have learnt to adapt physically to both.. We are too conditioned and sensorially primed to cope with the nakedness inside..   

Survival

Our conditioning limits us so much in life that we remain unaware, sometimes forever, of the reserves of darkness or light hidden deep inside.. Even Though hearteningly overshadowed by the human spirit and its requisite for survival.. Tragedy still wears a singular garb.. Be it the cruel intentions of terrorists.. Greed of militia.. Religious sacrilege.. Or plight of the hostages.. And media objectifying its abhorrent shades.. 

life takes us on these weird roller coasters with myriad 'colors' whizzing by sometimes so fast that we end up missing everything around, even the joy of the ride itself.. Atrocities in any form, always repel.. Darkening the soul of 'humanity'.. Leaving protesting questions intermingled with angry revulsion.. But even though looking down from random 'satellites' one sees us as earthlings or the human race.. And though a mere stitch in the tapestry of the cosmos.. We still get back to our 'individual' lives, worrying over a rude 'nudge' in a tube or being ignored in some random invite.. 

Inferno

This acute shattering 

Of a self that seems to

Splinter into numb shards

Buried deep so deep

In cocooned vacuum

That rare fleeting touch

Of oneness.. So palpable..

Like rays of sunshine dancing

Over d sea in shimmery slivers

Of aching fluid refracting self

What hurts more.. The ache

Or the limbo.. As Time jumps

Between pockets of urgency and lethargy..

Mocking the cognition of its passage

In an illusory life!

What silence hides

Haunting questions chased fluidly away
With myriad distractions rushing in
Scared so scared to unsettle reality
Or plain lazy!
Is it the world as we know it..
Is it the bubble we have made around us..
Is it the mundane or the decadent..
Is it the pure selflessness
So stark.. So lonely..
Cowardice.. Inertia.. Inanity..
We find answers in words
What silence hides...............