A thousand words

Saw this movie 'a thousand words', and what I found most striking was how scary silence can be, and how essential it seems for us to rush in with words to fill that void.. how much more we actually get to 'hear' others..

why do words delineate us to such an extent.. words that define who other people are.. never ourselves.. if they could define us.. if only they could define us.. I wonder if it would end most of the strife in this world..

and what of the 'vibrations' we hear so much about.. would the ensuing silences help humanity as a whole..

so words.. these words that we put so much store by.. why not do away with them..
slowly.. ever so slowly.. withering away from our thoughts..
disappearing as concrete reality into whiffs of hopeful notions
piercing.. subtle.. curious.. excited..
seeking.. plumbing those depths in silent awe
of the secrets hidden.. overt.. unseen..

bubbles of joy

no matter if you burst that bubble of happiness..

look around you

there are so many more

an unending flow

one could try their worst

they'll yet keep coming

in all their beauty

and grow..

wonderful, beautiful,

holding all the colors of the rainbow..

each bringing it's own unique shade

it's own unique joy..

none could ever stem their flow..

you defy anyone to try..

your heart's in the right place,

they will always come by..

so full within

I hesitate to put down on paper

these words almost scare me

such feeling inside.. these emotions

all the intensity

right there in front of me

no longer denied

no longer suppressed

i touch them with my words

and see their reality..

at times helpless to stop them

yet frustrated too

as nothing comes close

to expressing the feeling within....

when you feel so happy inside

somewhere your mind shuts out

simply because it's unable to fathom

incapable of grasping this kind of feeling....

and I feeel the tears of this depth

like an ache it remains

as I ineffectually try to capture in words

what my mind was unable to gauge....

just a deep fullness inside

where each heartbeat is clearly heard

what is this feeling.. I know not

as my heart goes out to you

how do i feel so full within....

Ache of Divinity

Yes, I've met God Time and again

and it's hurt. And I've felt small

and been dazzled

bathed in this glow that just would not fade

Hurting, Exhilarating

Potent, Breathing

Difficult to live with, impossible to shrug off

these moments

where I can be me and you can be you

where each fades, merges

and leaves an ache

of Divinity....

who makes us unhappy

each unhappy moment or disappointment we look around finding so many things to blame.. never once 'trying' to get out of it.. somehow the 'pain' granting us a unique import to our 'SELF' and we get so high on it..

is it such a simple thing.. is this unhappiness from without, welcomed so embracingly.. the hand held so tight.. why can't we let go.. and refuse to accept that hand.. if darkness overwhelms, don't we switch on the light.. that 'light' within.. why do we forget.. and never try to find..

again and again I ask.. who makes me unhappy.. someone else.. or myself....

hopeful negation

life gives us second chances sometimes...

and we are grateful too..

till time weaves its spell..

yet again..

and all the resolves.. all the promises

made to the self

fade into oblivious clouds of hopeful negation

and shifting eyes that avoid their own reflection..

these eyes that compulsively blink

and a heart that never forgets to beat

this step forward leaving one behind

this fist that opens emptying air unseen..

what do I say to convince myself

for every thought lies veiled in words

I take a broom to sweep in vain

for just an iota of pure peaceful space..

recriminations

if life is in its moments, then what are all these recriminations for..

do i hold a handful of regrets and recriminations
or the dew of emotions felt

do we look in those chapters of history
mummified quietly in the folds of our heart
or feel the still gurgle through its silent murmur
as you walk past

moments saturated fraught pure........... felt..
why mourn.. recapture.. or rejoice

who scorns the changing hues of sunrise
or mourns the stars embraced by moonshine.......

Franz Kafka

reading Kafka is like the night sky lit up with myriad winking stars or rays of sunshine igniting the sea with shards of light.. the mundane.. the bizarre.. moving hand in hand to unveil the ironic eccentricities of life.. with a feather-touch or whiff of fresh air.. 'Metamorphosis' is a story of a man turning into a giant beetle.. maybe speaking of the import of the sole 'bread-winner' in any family.. and how everyone is affected in case he is not able to take care of them anymore.. how he becomes a burden to everyone.. almost like a pest to be swat away.. an encumberance.. bringing out the best in others towards pursuing their potential.. but an exquisite selfishness where he is concerned.. 'The Great Wall of China" is the building of the wall piecemeal.. maybe speaking of the world and how it has been divided in small and yet smaller portions.. 'Investigations of a Dog' speaks of a dog and his life.. maybe speaking of humanity and enlightenment.. 'In the penal settlement' is about a death penalty without any formal sentence with a torturous method.. maybe trying to work out the whole 'judgement' issue.. for the officer in charge comes across as a cruel fanatic.. but in his mind his belief is so essentially strong that he puts himself proudly on the same torture contraption without any sign of fear or pain.. trying to prove his pride in this 'work of art' by his commandant.. 'the giant mole' is about the discovery of a mole by a teacher.. maybe mocking all such presumptive import each grants to himself.. and the kind of time effort and energy that goes to waste.. 'the burrow' he speaks of a building a burrow trying to make it secure.. which could be about our immune system and illness..

Viewpoint

someone just asked me if reading isn't akin to 'voyeurism'.. and if so then why not 'write' our own experiences.. but I wonder at this relationship between the inner and outer world.. how original are our experiences.. whether reading, talking, looking.. no matter what we are doing, everything is interpreted differently by each one of us.. so we all end up writing the same stories differently.. depending on every moment of our lives moulding us into that particular interpretation..

despite these minute inscrutable changes in our lives, sometimes subtle sometimes overt.. we still fight so vehemently.. with phenomenal pride and urgency.. about our own 'viewpoint'.. missing entirely the irony behind the word itself..

does that make every judgement obsolete!

The Museum of Innocence

Reading Mr.Orhan Pamuk's Novel, The Museum of Innocence, one can't help but realize how much our world revolves around ourselves.. no matter how trivial, every moment is phenomenally crucial, to ourself.. our life.. and we wonder how the world can just move on right beside us so nonchalantly.. obsession, in whatever way, is a part of our lives, somehow giving meaning to it.. and we need the 'recognition' and 'acknowledgement' of the same desperately.. but, is it as momentous to others.. or as ludicrous and trivial as the 'museum' is to readers not sharing the same 'obsession'.. we all have these limitless stores of memorabilia, stored in pockets of memories, captured in the museum of our mind.. and though they don't lack import, others still write their own story.. and care about their own collection.. finding it equally ludicrous all around..

Education System, Parenting and Children

There are so many things we expect of ourselves, and others, as Adults.. there is a major need for awareness and a lifestyle change because of the serious threat to our Environment.. so many Social Evils.. diet.. exercise.. and most of all - Stress.. and the list goes on.. doesnt it make you wonder what is lacking in our Education System, that teaches us so many subjects, except how to cope with life.. with failure.. with stress.. with adversity.. Some would say, these are things we need to learn for ourselves.. granted, we should.. but don't we enhance these very things so much at school level, that the stigma remains sometimes as overt scars sometimes hidden.. and sometimes submerged..

We seriously need to take a closer look at our Education System.. School Curriculum.. Teaching System.. and Parenting, which should itself be a compulsory course connected with Pregnancy.. Most of the problems of the adult world don't just crop up from nowhere.. each having their root in some childhood experience.. and we still don't want to attempt at least some change..

It isn't just the education system that is to blame.. just having children does not make one an expert at bringing them up.. and there should be compulsory parenting classes.. for kids are often exposed to whimsical shouting, abuse or beating.. parental discord too takes its toll.. and in the race for making your child the best.. most forget what it does to the child.. where is the 'childhood' anymore.. children dancing in the rain.. or simply playing outdoors..

Things like Gardening.. Cooking.. First-Aid.. Basic Survival Skills.. Sports.. Music.. Art.. the Environment.. keeping our Surroundings clean.. respect for life and Humanity.. can easily be an intrinsic part of our schools.. instead of teaching subjects by rote.. marking failures.. stamping them as such.. throwing them out or making their admission impossible..

what message are we giving here.. would life ever be the same without a farmer.. a carpenter.. a singer.. a musician.. a cricketer.. a cook etc.. then why and how do we mark 'FAILURE'.. we call Lata Mangeshkar ji Bharat Ratna.. people almost revere Mr.Amitabh Bachhan.. idolise Mr. Sachin Tendulkar.. rave about Mr.A.R.Rehman's music.. the point being.. Lataji cannot be Amitji.. nor Mr.Sachin Mr.A.R.Rehman.. but they are all people with uniquely amazing talents..

iota of life

where most of us have become inured to pain, you can celebrate this iota of life, that can still feel.. stepping away enough to see the reality of those tiny chinks of gaping holes.. and the beauty of the light streaming through.. and though the 'I' in us determines our universe.. it still holds unmatched beauty as the miracle of a unique truth.. essential to that path and the lessons therein.. who are we to judge or question or criticize.. when each drop of divinity patiently waits to be recognized.. to be freed.. to merge with the sea..

carefree innocence is the essential nature of a child.. one we try our best to protect.. but still one that never ceases to surprise too.. if only we could see the world through their eyes.. instead of trying to help them see it through ours..

Certain things in the world appeal to us. Certain things don't. We have our considered opinions about different issues. We may believe there is a benign power somewhere that cares for us or that it's a chaotic world without any rhyme or reason. How we perceive the world not only tells about the world, but it is also a reflection of how our mind works. Seeing our own mind in how the world appears to us is to come full circle. Zen Philosophy

shifting hues

it's rare to speak with carefree and candid exuberance.. our minds rule over lifetimes.. keeping our maths and accounts in order.. but it is our hearts that fill life with tiny joyflowers.. a familiar melody.. a fragrance.. a heartbeat.. a smile.. compelling.. strengthening.. fleeting.. permeating.. with shifting hues of us..

writers who can weave stories that breathe with rhythmic wonder.. the lure of the mystique showers as shimmering raindrops riveting changing hues of sunshine before quietly merging into the sea..

this sense of mystic mystique are silent notes finding the hidden lyrics within.. but in awe we hear the unheard strings of our heart..

reality and dreams

what an irradiatingly compelling image.. the 'weaving of reality & dreams'.. a picture I read about recently comes to mind.. of an androgynous human figure.. standing up,hands clasped in prayer, but with four legs and no head.. only ferns and flowers instead.. with a small smiling face drawn over the heart..

according to the image, to find the balance between worldly pleasures and spirituality this is what one must become.. with feet grounded so firmly on earth as if one has four legs.. that way we can be a part of this world.. but we must stop looking at it through our head.. but look through our heart instead.. in a perfect weaving of reality and dreams..

pulse of life

'Being' is the only word truly synonymous with life.

congratulations!! for this glimpse into 'divinity' in some form.. all you need is a look within.. to complete the introductions.. one can't help but celebrate moments like these.. meeting God in every moment that touches our heart.. ethereal notes unbidden stringing the rhythmic pulse of life..

more beautiful than the music in words is the glimpse of sheer joy pulsing through a heart.. radiant.. irrespressible.. free.. a shower of sparkling shards of sunshine.. dancing to the rhythm of every pore..