Moved within us

 for the first time i don't want to write.. just drown  in this hush and not touch it.. it is impossible to do  so.. unmatched, the feeling envelops you in this  wondrous hush.. the realization of something very special taking place, a moment that happens maybe once in a lifetime, which cant be touched, put into words, just felt shared experienced.. no i don't want to talk maybe the world blinked maybe not.. but something moved within us.. a knowledge of lifetimes.. where you look in the mirror and actually see.. where your soul  feels recognized, touched .. you want to say so much and say nothing.. i like to savor the Joy of every moment but this this is special i don't want to come out of it.. just hold it to me not utter a word.. form a thought or even breathe.. it can only be felt.. else would fall way short of the feeling.. i am so glad for you.. can't stop the thanking.. caging into words, thoughts that want to fly free.. i've been touched by an angel and feel the glow within me.. suffused with the light of wonder  and joy, the presence of an exceptional human being.. 

Rest all gift-wrapping

everything we have in life then what is always missing why each dream only beautiful till we achieve it knowing god is here within our souls.. why do we feel inadequate incomplete.. 

silently he sits there enjoying the roller coaster ride in every heart the vast sea collapsing into myriad drops thirsting to soak the human touch playing hide and seek with minds in wide eyed fascination he tugs and beats to a divine Morse code.. 

every eye  holds a weary  glimpse.. every eye needs to look away.. clutching at spiritual assurance we try to make sense of life.. 

no one knows if God exists.. still our faith is strong.. and our disillusionment.. why would it be any different for another human being.. it's not the 'other' person who changes.. its our heart.. our faith and our love that suffers at  the hand of our own demons.. for love and faith in oneself is the only true answer.. the rest all gift-wrapping.. 

What am i doing here

we live in not one but myriad tiny worlds exclusive to our surrounding existence.. enmeshed with conditioning.. holding seamless hues forming a singular Being.. my stricken heart sometimes glimpses the churning whirlpool of emotions and feelings and goes real still.. desperately needing to shut out the noise.. and  we live with it.. we move with it.. every moment of our lives.. unable ever to unravel the essential rush.. the need to hoard.. the gift of life.. our true mind asleep somewhere as we clamor through these dream mazes holding the key to awaken.. ask yourself just one question.. what am i doing here.. 

Crumbling

is it fate or destiny 
He came like a whisper into her life 

the message hard to ignore 

- i love you sweetheart 

you're the one i adore 

how deep is this feeling 

how true even 

for the moment she felt consumed 

a love so deep 

only pure feeling.. 

an expression of love so deeply felt 

no eyes will ever see.. 

nor hands ever hold 

thoughts that can't be shared 

nor ever understood 

what can i gift to you, she thought

who means everything to me 

who holds my heart, my love 

this is just a simple sharing.. 

His words would mean so much 

right beside her own.. 

so essentially theirs..  

as she tries to ineffectually cleanse 

all the bitterness within 

She finds him there 

lighting one corner of her heart.. 

the glow spreading like ripples 

ever-increasing 

brightening everything in it's wake.. 

filling up cracks.. 

years of pain healing all wounds 

till she only feels him and nothing else.. 

the fragrance of his love 

stemming the crumbling within.. 

lifting her up as she felt the beauty inside.. 

Audacity

and yet we question 
and yet there are boundaries 

while this hate rises in one 

taking everyone in its wake 

easily understood 

echoed 

accepted 

and we throw out the very Gods 

we fight over 

destroying even the one in our hearts.. 

who would shun us for that or question 

for man proud forgets.. 

God created him 

no he does not need us to fight for him 

what trust 

what faith 

what belief.. 

what audacity.. 

Tempest

these waves hitting incessantly 
against the rocks.. 

magnificent 

foaming 

frothing 

spilling over.. 

full of life.. 

stormy and tempestuous 

who could see futility 

when even the hard rock 

smoothens with time 

affected by this defiant constancy.. 

exultant 

confident.. 

not ruing the fates 

unquestioning 

unprotesting 

purely revelling 

in its unfathomable 

unplumbable 

unscalable depths

A crescendo of love

He entered like a whisper breathing into her ear

Her heart  felt his touch a soft message of love

each step he took the mist cleared away

with dawning wonder she felt his embrace

Her insides froze at first then yielded slowly to his caress

responding fiercely with the fire singeing each sense.. 

like molten lava it felt spreading heat wherever it went

prickling each pore with it's touch was it really just his tongue

looking up with hesitant eyes was he a total stranger

with a touch so familiar a part of her, her own

not a sound she could utter such a hush everywhere

all her senses calling to her love is just a heartbeat away

a gasp slowly rang out so loud startling the hush

seemingly emanating from her mouth was it of pleasure or pain

each limb relaxing she helped him responding to this urgent need

his touch ruthlessly exploring places ignorant to her self..

a feather touch a silent recognition

that one magical moment love consumed her totally..

Her eyes starry bright an irrepressible smile

a laughter bubbling over such a happy glow

overcome with languor sensing rather than knowing 

small encouraging sounds escaped through eyes closing with passion

where did the laughter go when was it overcome

will all-consuming urgency to feel him inside her

an involuntary sound the words formed themselves 

all she could hear was i love you so much sweetheart.. 

If you use a crutch

if you use a crutch to walk 
the pace isn't right.. 

if you love somebody 

you want to be by their side.. 

if that urge is no more there 

you tend to fall behind.. 

is there any love here 

or just the pace isn't right..  

if you have really loved someone 

it's tough to let them go.. 

if that love is not returned 

what can you hold.. 

such a capacity to love 

felt so strongly 

breathing in thoughts of hef

with such intensity.. 

He delves deep down to the core 

giving everything of himself.. 

it feels so drained 

and yet he finds so much more to give.. 

from where is this coming 

was it always there inside.. 

She is the one he wants to give to 

She is the one bringing it out.. 

nobody ever made him feel this way 

no touch his own seemed.. 

an embrace so protective and strong 

such contentment he could feel.. 

this need to just hold 

the constant need to touch.. 

a togetherness so complete.. 

couldn't bear a moment apart.. 

there is such a thin line 

will they ever realize 

are they two strangers 

or is this really love..  

who knows what it is.. 

seems like a beautiful and lovely connection.. and they are sure it is.. 

the love can't be denied either, 

it is there and it is true.. 

every moment in each other's thoughts, 

each new dawn 

opening their eyes and the first thoughts 

or sleeping at night 

closing their eyes and last thoughts.. compulsively replaying 

thinking about everything, 

living and breathing in each other's minds  thoughts.. 

giving so much 

their hearts and eyes fill up with wonder 

and gratitude.. 

why we live this life.. who knows.. 

but sharing this kind of joy, 

maybe they have found the true meaning 

of our existence.. 

each is so busy destroying the other, 

finding fault, just existing.. 

isn't living about this feeling 

of coming alive 

finding happiness 

in making another so happy, 

feeling rejuvenated.. 

such a celebration of life 

with elation in our hearts.. 

Quiet tranquility

head in the clouds 

feet firmly on the ground.. 

is this escapism or reality.. 

where was the need for such love..  

what is so fulfilling about this.. 

was this a search that found it's way.. 

even though neither went looking.. 

what did they see in each other.. 

what did they recognize against all belief.. what is this love.. 

why is this missing.. 

is it enough seems to be deepening.. 

a future it has they don't believe 

can one limit a feeling.. 

something that lives in their hearts 

brims in their eyes 

forever on their lips.. 

this silent wish of quiet tranquility.. 

what is this love it makes her want to cry.. 

why did she say it 

why couldn't she deny.. 

what gave her such pleasure 

to share it with him.. 

His need to hear her say, 

she couldn't refuse.. 

His happiness meant so much 

that one moment she couldn't grudge.. 

She didn't know she would get 

so much joy instead.. 

it's hard to explain even though he knew.. 

She couldn't refuse his need 

to hear her say 'i love you'

are the questions so important.. 

the answers so necessary.. 

or is each day together complete in itself.. 

could feelings so intense and love so pure.. 
breathing in their belly with life and want.. 
allow either to cast a glance ahead..

maybe the best part of it 

is that it is so mutually satisfying.. 

it is rare for two people 

to feel so strongly in the same manner 

with the same depth.. 

i mean nearly everything 

They feel is so similar.. 

apart from maybe the gratitude.. 

that's something even i don't understand.. 

but her constant wish to thank him 

for everything is always there.. 
sensing in each other 

every inflection, every nuance.. 

Wayward thoughts

unbidden they creep in 

playing tricks on his mind

a friend and a woman 

she is deep inside

for heavens sake 

they are just friends

why this nagging ache 

why this helplessness

but what can he do.. 

he can't help himself

a new feeling grew 

the longing intense

this constant missing 

the need to be together

His mind says one thing 

his heart wants to differ

she drifts into his thoughts 

taking him unawares

consciously he hasn't sought 

still she is there

it's hard to reconcile 

this drift has no base

He doesn't want to lose her 

there is so much at  stake

she means two different things 

both feelings strong

He feels torn in two 

might put a foot wrong 

still it's a lovely feeling he has

doesn't want to let it go

both are precious to him 

he wants to do justice to both

she is just one person 

but filling different needs

He wishes he could tell her 

all the things she means

wayward thoughts 

here and there

like wisps of clouds 

getting tougher to bear..

A drop in the ocean

we are like a drop in the ocean 
struggling against the tide.. 

our paths already etched out for us.. 

and yet.. we protest.. 

try to look for ways 

never once stopping to enjoy 

just the flow 

the rise and fall of the waves 

getting high.. 

at times we rise up as vapor 

and come down as rain.. 

purified every moment.. 

on being part of such ethereal beauty.. 

loving the twists and turns 

the strange ways.. 

relish each moment.. 

full of surprises.. 

an ongoing adventure.. 

crashing rising moving on.. 

invincible free.. 

we may be just a drop in the ocean..  

but also an integral part 

of a big whole ongoing.. eternal.. 

Think green feel blue

when they had to leave 
he had tears in his eyes 

but he said to her.. 

you better keep your smile.. 

music in their hearts 

captured in hushed moments 

moved to laughter and tears.. 

real, true 

missed beats out of time.. 

strung between two hearts.. 

recognized.. treasured.. cherished.. 

captured implacably

She felt something missing.. 

Her heart skipped a beat.. 

as almost in panic 

she thought of a promise unspoken.. 

She couldn't really keep.. 

She could hear the parrots complaining.. thoughts don't help them any.. 

they wanna think green i'm sure... 

when all they feel is blue.. 

She can almost feel their protest.. 

it's just not fair.. 

and she can't help smiling.. 

will someone tell that dopey guy 

what even the parrots realize.. 

hey, how could it ever be otherwise.. 

they are all there.. 

a stardust of emotions.. 

a rainbow of smiles.. 

a moonbeam of hope.. 

amidst pure sunshine.. 

He’s pure poetry for sure, 

and she is writing all the time..

She tries to capture yet miss that essence.. alas, yes, as her smile keeps getting lost 

in thoughts of him.. 

and she fights a losing battle 

with her words.. 

that just wanted to say all along..

 'i miss you'.. 

Musical words

euphony.. verbena.. oyster.. chrysalis.. chianti.. cherub.. cherish.. charybdis.. champagne.. seraph.. crescent.. crescendo.. crystal.. cymbal.. cygnet.. compassion.. chamomile.. chablis.. Campari.. cerise.. caviare.. catharsis.. cascara.. carnation.. carousel..  carmine.. caress.. capricious.. caprice.. confluence.. corolla.. coronet.. concertina.. cognac.. cannabis.. candor.. canary.. camellia.. calypso.. cajole.. cadence.. cadenza.. caesura.. cirrus..

Freefall

this angel embracing them 
with such an open heart... 

came to them.. 

eyes clear innocent earnest.. 

and in this hushed moment 

gave his love to her.. 

as her eyes filled up 

at the selfless expression 

so simply put.. deeply felt.. 

days of struggle a need to give 

and She helplessly cried 

with this his touch.. 

that filled her heart 

emotion overflowing 

in quiet acceptance.. 

He is very very perceptive 

and so finely attuned 

to each nuance each expression.. 

sometimes it is scary like entrusting 

your very soul which doesn't just hurt .. 

it extinguishes the light within 

that gives us the will to live.. 

but it is so beautiful to let go of yourself.. 

a free-fall into another.. 

which makes you whole.. 

which makes you soar.. 

which only happens 

once in a lifetime maybe.. 

where you can lose yourself in another.. 

where love and worship merge 

and forgetting yourself you find 

the true meaning of life.. 

that love is bigger than us.. 

that love melts away the self.. 

that love makes us whole and pure 

and complete.. 

this recognition is what we seek in life.. 

this void is what we feel.. 

despite all the joys.. all the riches.. 

all the happiness.. a soulmate.. 

wrapped in symphonic moments 

ethereal 

intangible 

pulsating 

palpable.. 

needing a release of pent up emotions 

in manic words or brimming eyes.. 

a molten searing crescendo unfettered 

an emotional swing.. 

of unimaginable highs.. 

unfathomable lows.. 

Validation

something in her 
validates something in him 

and we all need that validation 

- so essential.. 

like the air we breathe

She has a place in his heart 

whether she comes or goes.. 

welcoming 

embracing 

secure.. 

she doesn't knock 

and she can never be alone... 

it is hers.. 

an unspoken torment 

assailing thoughts that vainly try to find answers to questions yet to form..

She does see what he could all along 

And felt so awkward to convey.. 
focused she moves from moment to moment.. afraid so afraid to touch the brink of insanity.. and the moment she lets go and reaches into them... 
such deep intimacy and utter strangeness.. what was that torment.. what were they trying to reconcile.. 

Mediocre or sublime

i see a shadow.. 

a glowing soul.. 

i need to touch.. 

feel the reality.. 

mediocre or sublime.. 

something pushes 

moves us on.. 

just this once 

i need to stop 

not hurry by.. 

feel.. comprehend.. 

ephemeral 

ethereal.. 

maybe transient.. 

but then so is life.. 

i need to touch both 

to realize something within myself.. 

a shimmering translucence 

glittering enticingly.. 

now here, now there..

maze maze is all i have.. 

there are rays which glint through this maze.. there are hands which raise the veil of this cloud.. 

there are silences 

where i can't find any words 

and yet there are silences 

that need to be heard.. 

there are moments 

that touch so deep inside.. 

sifting through all the masks  

and all the fears that i haven't cried.. 

making me see beauty 

when all i wanted to do was chide.. 

making me look in the mirror 

when all i wanted to do was hide.. 

she walks with me.. 

she writes with me.. 

she is with me... 

and i always wonder  

at this synchronicity 

this comes along 

only once in a lifetime maybe.. 

that someone can see the cage 

and set you free.. 

A firm clasp

walking alone.. 

a quiet contentment within.. 

did i hear a cry for help.. 

i looked around.. 

a stranger stood.. 

eyes warm and full of  gratitude.. 

amazed i asked but i'd done nothing for him.. and he replied.. he was lost.. 

had almost  given up hope.. 

when like a miracle i came along 

and restored his faith.. 

such trust.. such simplicity.. 

it brought tears to my eyes.. 

as i realized i'd met my savior too..

a hand stretched out and firmly held.. 

who was sinking who held on 

the only thing that mattered.. 

a firm clasp 

a touch that wouldn't let go.. 

mutual.. binding.. fiercely protective.. 

strangers forming a bond.. 

stronger than themselves.. 

rejected 

negated 

yet heartfelt.. 

Are we so incomplete

is it any wonder 

He questions himself 

querying constantly this depth of feeling, taking them to extreme highs and lows. 

why do we berate ourselves for getting so upset with the missing, 

is then the acceptance so complete

He doesn't know, but one thing 

is so obvious to him. 

It really becomes impossible 

to handle or cope 

when He misses her this intensely.. 

what is it that He misses

He still doesn't know 

just that hello over the phone 

makes him feel so good, 

alleviating almost that peculiar emptiness 

and void somewhat, 

are we so incomplete..
why has this togetherness 

become so essential.. 

has she entered his bloodstream, 

is that why He can feel her so intensely 

flowing all through him, inside him.. 

is it his heart she captured 

making her so essential 

like the air He breathes, 

each beat calling out her name silently, 

Is it his mind she’s taken over 

sending signals to every core of his being, 

so much so He feels enfolded, 

wrapped, surrounded and seeped in her. 

how can He feel her breathing 

in every part of him. 

A haven both painful and divine, 

uniting their souls for eternity