got up at 4.45 only.. i have so many resolutions in my mind.. still searching for that strength to rise above the mundane.. to respond instead of reacting.. to listen more than talk.. to have compassion for everything and everyone.. to comprehend none of this is real.. to know we are all one.. to accept our legacy.. to start walking home.. to have happiness in my heart.. how have i let myself be so weak as to be buffeted with the winds of every moment.. not even trying to hold on or help myself.. cursing, blaming everything around for not helping.. i have all the solutions.. and all the right answers.. just need to pick up a pen and start writing.. it is sheer laziness preventing me from checking myself.. for that frown.. for that rare laugh.. for the love and peace of my family.. myself.. and i continue to walk in this way.. contemptuous of myself yet.. not trying hard enough to find the peaceful joyous loving sanctity in my heart.. its 6.45am and i cant help but write again..
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